Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Friday, Nov. 07, 2003 - 6:23 p.m.

Hello, readers of absolutedog.

So sorry to inform, but you are in the wrong place. Which I could have told Mr. Dawg, had he bothered to email and ask...what kind of person puts an address up as belonging to a person without checking first? My email is readily accessible, should he have looked. I should wait to rag on his probably well-meaning ass, though, because I just emailed him to ask that the error be fixed, so perhaps he's a very nice, conscientious person who will address the issue, and other people who don't have a problem finding my email address will stop sending me really stupid and/or really perverted emails.

For the record, I am a tad bit older than the Ms. Doyle of Road Rules fame; I do not have long hair, so those of you who write hair letters can definitely back off; my breasts - and yes, they are called breasts, not some of the words previously used to address them in email - are nowhere near as "luscious"* as hers; and no, I will not be passing thru your little town any time soon.

* Yes, that word has been oft used; please, men, get a friggin' thesaurus and use it. For the record, most women will roll their eyes and mock you behind your back for using the word "luscious" to describe their mammary glands. Many of them will actually mock you to your face. You may include me in the latter group.

While we're on the subject of mistaken identities, I am also not the Katie Doyle who is a porn person, and while I *am* an actress, no, you have not seen me on television or at the movies. I do stage. In Texas and California, so no, you also did not see me doing summer stock in Pooghkeepsie.

So I'm sorry to disappoint the more salacious of you, but I am just plain ol' Katie Doyle, girl-next-door, in jeans and a t-shirt, nowadays with a very short ponytail sometimes, and I weigh about 23 pounds more than I used to when I weighed 118. Which might not sound like much, and which is right at or under what the USDA or whomever thinks a woman my height should weigh, but I am rather bittersweetly gratified to point out to all of my friends who have harped on me over the years to gain weight, whom I told time and time again that if I weighed the weight all those damn charts said I should weigh that I would be freakin' fat, that YES, I am indeed freaking fat, and I would give *anything* to be able to eat a Twinkie and lose weight again, so blow me, damn it. It is not my fault that all of you feel you are overweight and were bothered by my twiglike stature. And those of you who keep offering to help me exercise while you are shoving chocolate chip cookies and M&M's and chocolate cake and peanut butter cups and raspberry white chocolate ice cream in my mouth can CUT IT OUT RIGHT NOW. If you can't be truly supportive of my efforts to get fit and stop eating sugar, then we are no longer going to hangout and you can feel fat all by yourselves. Bite me.

Bygones.

Peace out,
Katie

1 comments so far

This is called a diet, people; everyone start one today! Darcy, you should stop
eating. You see, when you skip a meal, your body feeds off its fat stores. And if
you skip enough, maybe your body will eat your ass!

*HUGS* TOTAL! give katiedoyle more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own

Yesterday's News - Next Stop

In which Katie shares sad news - Wednesday, Apr. 01, 2015
In which Katie returns after a very long absence - Monday, Jun. 25, 2012
In which Katie pokes her head in and brushes some of the cobwebs away - Thursday, May. 06, 2010
In which Katie asks you to write your congressman again. - Monday, Jun. 02, 2008
In which Katie asks you to please click the link and send the message to protect the rights of artists - Wednesday, May. 21, 2008