Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Sunday, Mar. 07, 2004 - 9:32 p.m.

Currently playing: Dylan - The Times They Are A-Changin'

Sing it, Bob. I was too young to get this song back when the Nam was still goin' on. But I sure get it now.

Coupla things. First, I have an astonishingly bad headache. I really wish it would go away. Second, I really do cuss too much. Third, cuss and curse are actually the same word. I used to think they were slightly different in meaning and that cuss was more a redneck slang term, but it turns out that cuss is the phonetic spelling for the original pronunciation of the word curse. So them backwater hillbillies I grew up with got it right. Shoot a-mighty. Fourth, I'd really like to showcase Mr. Brian Lafferty's pithiness, but I'm not in the mood to hunt up the quotes and cut and paste right now, which is also why we are not having a Diaryland Quote o' the Day. Talk to my head if that's disappointing to ya. I really think it's going to break off right at my shoulders. I kinda wish it would. Fifth. Idiot men: when your girlfriend makes a joke as she's bent over the dryer pulling socks out that you don't even bother to look at her ass anymore, do NOT inform her that if she were wearing the kind of jeans you like, you would look more often at her ass, but since she doesn't wear the same 6" rise jeans that 20 year old girls who like to show their pubes in public wear, you can't be bothered to look. The reasons you should not do this are so numerous and blatantly obvious that I am not going to go into them here. If you need them enumerated, you're actually too stupid to waste my typing energy on, anyway. I'm hoping that if you have been so stupid as to commit this egregious error, you immediately figured out that even though you don't understand why it was the wrong thing to say, you should not ever make such a boneheaded, insensitive comment again. You then went out and bought your girlfriend a dozen roses and sucked up like you've never sucked up before. If you did not do that, go and do it now. Because trust me, you are such a clueless moron, you are extremely lucky your incredibly patient and loving girlfriend puts up with your dumb ass. She should leave you and move to Paris. She still just might.

BTW, if you have not already read the entry before this one, and you're wondering why I haven't responded to your many email requests for coffee or the like, please go read it now. This one will wait.

Adventures in Bookstores
I went to two bookstores today, to buy a copy of my coworker's first novel. A)because I like to support my fellow coworkers in any endeavor that gets them out of the hell of reality television, and B)because she's a pretty damn funny person, so I figure her book must be pretty amusing too. The first Big Honkin' Bookstore I went to had 3 copies.

It would have been nice if said 3 copies were where they were supposed to be, but they were nowhere to be found in the entire bookstore. They weren't even in the back or on hold, and there were 3 of us looking, me and two clerks. Note to booksellers: it's hard to buy a book, even if you know it exists, if it isn't on the damn shelves. So I had to go to a second Big Honkin' Bookstore, which had two copies. Which were actually on the shelf. Wow. I picked one up and then wandered over to where the new releases are supposed to be, only while the first BHBS is very inviting and user friendly and all "hey, look at the new books that are out; don't you want to read one?!" the second one is all snooty Starbucks in one corner and tall metal shelvy, and had none of the cool new books the other store had, unless I wanted to browse the entire fiction section, which no, I did not. I also needed to find some other books on such things as gemstones and renaissance jewelry, and they had absolutely nothing on either of those two things either, unless I was looking for a book on how to buy quality gemstones, which frankly, I was not. So I wandered over to the Self-Help section, because someone lent me a book on how to say no without feeling guilty, which I am not very good at at *all*, and I accidentally tore the front cover when I dropped the book in an extremely unrare moment of klutziness, so now I have to replace it, and there was this guy sitting in an armchair over there, reading.

Now, first of all, I have to say that I really don't get people who read in bookstores. That is what the library is for. Bookstores are for buying books, not reading the entire thing in. If you want to read the entire book, buy it. Then take it home and read it there. Do not read it in the bookstore. If you are such a cheapskate that you don't want to actually pay for the thing, then check it out at the library. But do not hang around for hours in the the BHBS reading the book. And if you do decide to sit and peruse some books to see if you really want to buy them, then do not fucking sigh in pointed exasperation and glare at the person standing near you who is looking thru the shelves trying to find the book she wants to actually fucking buy, you twit. Seriously. There was this mousy little pointdexter man sitting in an armchair like 3 feet away from the shelves, like he had drug it over there so he could pull books off the shelf at will without having to get up off of his lazy ass, and for the entire 5 minutes I was trying to find the book I need, he continually sighed and shot me dirty looks, like I was totally invading his personal space, and how dare I be so rude. It was so fucking irritating that I couldn't concentrate on what I was trying to find and gave up and left. But what I really wanted to do - and would have, if there hadn't been more people sitting about 10 feet away - was say "Look, asshole, this is a bookstore. As in, a place where one buys. I am looking for a book to buy. If you do not want me to have to stand so close to you, than move your chair back over the 2 feet to where I can see it originally was, as there are little divots in the carpet from where it's legs were, and stop your whinyass little girly sighs, you prat." I'm tellin' you people, as soon as I can afford some assertiveness training, I am all over it. Then prissy little mousy men can bite me, because I am done with the snitty little sighs.

BTW, do not send me hate mail because you are a prissy little mousy man and think I am being rude and dismissive. I don't really care if you are prissy or mousy or not. I don't actually make judgements in that manner unless a person is also rude, and then it becomes a huge flaw to be exploited on account of their meanness. I merely point it out in this instance because that guy was a snot and I want to be extra-disparaging. I'm not going to apologize either, because I spend a huge chunk of my real life time never saying anything to anyone that might hurt their feelings, even when it begs to be said and is the God's honest truth and they totally deserve it. So I am allowed to be passively aggressive and speak my mind online, damn it.

Bygones.

Comment allez-vous?
I also bought a 5 cd set to learn French with, just in case I actually get to go back to Paris this summer. I don't think I'm going to, because the last 8 months have been particularly non-lucrative, and starting one's own business is a little expensive, even if it *is* just a web-based one. You can't believe all the stuff you have to pay for. Plus beads are not cheap. You may think they are, but trust me, they're not. I have several thousand dollars invested in beads and sterling silver at this point, so believe me, I know. And then I go thru nights where I lie in bed and agonize over how much I have to charge for shipping because internet purchase fraud is on the rise and hit like a record last year, so I have to charge people for insurance and signature confirmation of delivery to cover my ass for those people who will try to claim they never got what they ordered, which happens quite a bit, from what I read on merchant sites and the like. But I digress. I want to learn French, so I went and got the cd's, so I will be learning French like any day now...or maybe a bit later...and the set comes with this cool game like Monkey Island, which I am a fiend for, and you have play it in French, so hopefully that will help me learn faster, because frankly, I can think of a lot of other things I would rather do than sit here and repeat "je m'appelle Katie" over and over again. Capiche?

Peace out,
Katie

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Yesterday's News - Next Stop

In which Katie shares sad news - Wednesday, Apr. 01, 2015
In which Katie returns after a very long absence - Monday, Jun. 25, 2012
In which Katie pokes her head in and brushes some of the cobwebs away - Thursday, May. 06, 2010
In which Katie asks you to write your congressman again. - Monday, Jun. 02, 2008
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