Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Wednesday, Mar. 10, 2004 - 1:56 a.m.

Damn that Sundry. As if I don't have enough stuff to clutter up my spare time and life, now I want to try the Sims, and I hate Sim City; can Sim People be any less annoying and useless? But she had to go and make them sound all challenging and stuff. Drat.

I am a bad person. I promise people I'm going to make them the pithy quote of the day and then I don't ever get around to it. This is primarily due to the fact that I spend my now 11 - 13 hour workdays logging a dumbass who says things like "little baby jetters" when referring to hot tub jets, calls grown women "baby girls," and proununces the term budrow "bud-row." As in, bud row. Two words.

For those of you unfamiliar, budrow is a southern term that means buddy. Only, you don't apply it to people you don't know, you only direct it AT people who are actually your friends, whom you are on familiar ground with. And you NEVER use it as a noun. It isn't a noun. It's a form of address. It's sort of like Bubba, but unlike Bubba, it does not double as a name. It does, however, rhyme with the name Woodrow. And in fact, may actually be spelled boodrow, but since I don't know anyone who actually knows how to spell the term, and since Dumbass pronounces it bud row, I will have to assume it's spelled with a u. I don't even know where he came across it to have to figure out how to pronounce it, unless he reads some southern writer who used it as a term of endearment in a book somewhere. But a million frigging times tonight, I had to hear it pronounced bud row, and I'm telling you people, that - coupled with the fact that he is the biggest tool who ever lived - made me want to punch him in his giant, enormous nose and make him cry like a girl. Like a girl, my friends. Make. Him. Cry.

And let's talk about that nose for a minute. It isn't a tiny nose, my friends. It isn't even a good-sized nose or a normal nose. It's a friggin' landshelf. It is the Hugest Nose I Have Ever Seen. It spreads across his face like 3 clumps of Silly Putty and literally throws a shadow down to his chin...and it's never even been broken. I know it isn't nice to call attention to people's faults, and certainly not something as indigenous to their being as a frigging nose, but my *god*. What a schnozz. I'm thinkin' if someone bakes bread in friggin' New Jersey, he smells it. It's like a bloodhound's, that nose. And he has no upper lip to speak of. Not even a small one. Not even in profile. And he licks his lips constantly, in a way that drives me absolutely insane, and he says absolutely handsdown the dumbest things I have ever heard anyone say in my entire life, and I swear to you people, I really want to just slap the livin' daylights out of him. I really, really do.

Whew. Okay, then.

Peace out,
Katie

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