Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Tuesday, Jan. 28, 2003 - 9:07 p.m.

Hello again. I went to Burger King, breaking many many rules, and had 2 Whopper Jrs with cheese - though sans onion and tomato, 2 tacos, and a fudge brownie thingie. Thus, I am much more relaxed and peaceful than I was 4 hours ago, when I was malnourished on soup. It is a miracle what solid food will do for ya after a week of soup. AND, I could actually chew it with very little pain! Of course, my jaw's a little stiff now, and I might pay for it tomorrow, but doggone, that food was good.

I broke the 2003 New Year's Resolution, No Fast Food, though.

Yes, I know I said I was not going to make any resolutions this year, but The Boyfriend made that one for himself, and it became a sort of Joint Resolution. Only, you know, there won't be any troops mobilized and sent to the Persian Gulf or trade sanctions or anything like that; it's not that kind of Joint Resolution. It's not like we are the UN, you know. We're just a guy and girl trying to peacefully co-exist despite our equally anal-retentiveness. But now I'm blathering, so let's move on, shall we? Seriously, you guys really need to nip this propensity for digression in the bud. So irresponsible of you; sheesh.

At any rate, as I was saying, I broke the No Fast Food Joint Resolution of 2003. Among others, I also broke the no chewy food rule instituted by my doc, so we'll see what happens there, AND I had no fewer than three (3) diet sodas...a clear violation of the One Soda a Day Restriction. Then there is the Regulation Barring Sugar, the Healthy Food Only Rule, and I added cheese to the Whopper Jrs, a clear violation of the Sanction Against Cheese which is supposed to help my allergies. But that one's really hard to stick to, because cheese (dairy) doesn't always bother me and also because American cheese slices are actually a soft food, and therefore on the list of approved soft foods currently available to me and my faulty temporal-mandibular joint (not to be confused with the temporal joint, which apparently distorts time; this is not Star Trek). And speaking of cheese (you knew there was another digression coming, didn't you?), what, exactly, is "cheese food"? Seriously. If you ever read the label of the packages you buy that I'm sure you think are just sliced American cheese - because it looks pretty much exactly like sliced American cheese to the untrained eye, and, well, it identifies itself as cheese slices - you will see the fine print which identifies it truly as processed cheese food...or in the current lingo, processed cheese product. They have renamed cheese food "cheese product." I don't really get the distinction, except that it actually implies much less nutritional value as a product rather than a food, and indeed, sounds far less nummy and desireable as something which you might consider ingesting. I mean, I'm sorry, but I am really not about to eat anything labelled "cheese product." Especially processed cheese product. What, exactly, is the process the USDA feels so strenuously must be labelled as to require said labelling? Perhaps there really isn't much food in the product - maybe much of the food part is extracted during the mystery process, thus converting it to what can strictly speaking only be labelled "product," thus losing its food designation. And when they label it processed *imitation* cheese product, that's when you really should step slowly back from the refrigeration case, edge carefully away, to the end of the aisle, and then run screaming from the store, calling out to all and sundry, "processed imitation cheese product is people!" (okay, so that actually might be a tad dramatic, but it would be kinda fun) But again - and this is getting way outta hand, people - I digress. Within a digression, even. I also had a phone conversation just there, with my friend Charli, who lives out of state, but that would be yet another digression, and frankly, I don't think you're strong enough for it, so since clearly, you lack the ability to keep me under control, I will restrain myself. But you owe me. So, you people happily buying Kraft singles and the like, smugly believing you are saving mountains on cheese, are actually not buying cheese at all, but cheese product, and when something is not allowed to call itself cheese, you really do have to stop and ask yourself a)why is this not cheese, b)what is it, really, and c)should I be eating this? If you do not know the answer to ANY of those questions, then please, spring for the cheese, people; spring for the cheese.

Oh - for the record, I think it's like some kind of dehydrated mix of stuff like milk fat solids and whey, and stuff that might in one form or another, in one ratio or another, be found in cheese, at least some of the time, and then blended with oil and emulsified (that being the process in question), and *that* is what cheese product is. Like the powder that comes in the Blue Box macaroni and cheese product, but in a semi-solid, non-powdered, cheese-like state. Mmmm, nutrition.

Nosy Katie Doyle googlers: 4
Nosy Katie Dowd googlers: 1 (3 times)
Plastic surgery sleuths: 6, Shania Twain seizing the lead from Catwoman
--->I forgot to mention that Brittany Spears is now an official sub-category of the plastic surgery obsession, having moved solidly into sub-category status this last week with at least 2 more searches
International googlers: 5 - Hello, Nederlanders, you freaks. (Bygones)
Golfzilla searchers: 1
And
# of people looking to learn to tie their shoes: 1

Pathetic AOL pervs: 2 - one of whom is just way sad...how many freaking times in a two minute period do you need to search out TNA, and using how many different search engines? Jeez, man, grow the fuck up. You really couldn't pay me to use AOL. I thought the caliber of people generally populating that service was pretty bottom of the barrel *before* I started this blog. Now I *know* it for fact. (Bygones, those of you more lazy than stupid or perverted; I have no desire to offend or insult *all* AOL users, just the ones who need to be.)

Oddest Search of the Day:
stuffing+girl+belly

Twice. About 18 hours apart. From the Netherlands. I really, really, REALLY hope that's a search for girls who eat too much, and not a search for how to stuff a girl's belly, which is really pretty gross. And icky, in, like, the ickiest of icky ways. Although, a search for girls who eat too much is also pretty high up there on the Ew Scale.

Also, a hearty hello to you, whomever is searching petabyte+AND+"total information". Thanks for getting informed. Welcome to Scaryville, pop. 281,421,906 (as of April 1, 2000). Although, since you have your own static IP, and I can't find out who you are, you could be the government...founder of Scaryville. In which case, Get. Out.

Hey, you guys, school starts like next week, and I will have purpose again. Rejoice and be happy, because a Katie with meaning is a happier Katie indeed. :)

You know, I was gonna talk a little about fishing, because, well, Loreli learned to fish on Gilmore Girls tonight, and I myself enjoy fishing and am a world-class caster (er, one who casts?), and so that brought back all kinds of happy casting, fish catching memories, although the actual undoing of the fish from the hook is really not an activity I enjoy - or, you know, actually do, there being men in the world and all - but the casting and catching part is fun and enjoyable. In fact, I will go out and cast even when I know there are no fish biting, because I will tell myself that there's always that rogue fish, out there all rebellious and such, who might be out defying the parents, and who then deserves to be caught, for not honoring his mother and his father, etc., so I will sit and cast for hours in the hot sun, just for the relaxing enjoyment of it. Of course, I don't enjoy it enough to get up early for it - that's what sunset is for - but I do really enjoy it. I love the sound of the line playing out and the satisfying plop of lure hitting water, and the cool little clicky noise when you reel the line in, as well as the actual physical action involved in casting, which is just really neat. And since I do it really well, that also is rewarding and fun. I *love* casting. But then you catch the fish, which is thrilling and nerve-wracking in and of itself, because I have a vivid imagination, and who knows how big a fish is out there besides, so when that line gets jerked, how big a jerk is it gonna be, and if you're standing too close to the lake, is it gonna pull you in? Is it gonna yank the rod out of your hands? Is that shadowy figure lurking in the depths a big girl-eating monster, or just a sunken log, and when the fish you hooked comes swimming up in seeming surrender, is it really a gigantic girl-eating fish merely lulling you into a false sense of security, or is it just a 3 pound smallmouth bass? These are the things that go thru my over-active imagination while standing on the bank fishing, so you can imagine what an exciting activity it is. But then when you actually hook the fish and get it out of the water and all, the next thing you have to do is start screaming like crazy "I got one!" so that someone will come and actually touch the fish, hold it by its actual fish body, and remove the hook from its mouth, and then announce that it's big enough to eat, but if you want to eat it, you have to clean it, at which point you announce haughtily that you do not eat fish, you only catch them and the scaly little guy can just go back in the water, after admonshing it not to bite down on just any flashy little thing it sees in the water, of course. I even named my lure. George. I love George. He's a very good lure, having tricked many many (well, okay 2) fish into biting. (plus a few that bit but didn't stay hooked long enough to wrest them from the briny (er, fresh) deep.

And so, I thought I was going to save fishing for another day, but there, you see, I talked about it anyway.

Peace out,
Katie

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Yesterday's News - Next Stop

In which Katie shares sad news - Wednesday, Apr. 01, 2015
In which Katie returns after a very long absence - Monday, Jun. 25, 2012
In which Katie pokes her head in and brushes some of the cobwebs away - Thursday, May. 06, 2010
In which Katie asks you to write your congressman again. - Monday, Jun. 02, 2008
In which Katie asks you to please click the link and send the message to protect the rights of artists - Wednesday, May. 21, 2008