Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Wednesday, Feb. 18, 2004 - 11:56 p.m.

Diaryland Quote of the Day:
"Like that Miller beer commercial where the whole city of New York just starts to fall over, and the only smart person in a three mile radius is the man chugging beers. Right. Go American logic." --Ahna, aka stealmypurse.dland.com

I love Ahna. Not for the least reason that that's not how she spells her name. It's how she says her name. But I call her Ahna, and that is how she chose to spell it in her "about me" blurb on her page, which is quite the nod. Plus she has the Beatles underneath her entries and is just exactly the kind of girl I would have loved knowing in high school. Anyone who can say "you might be right, little rabbits, you might be right," and carry it off has a definite cool quotient going for her. And as if that weren't enough, she loves ee cummings, finds him underestimated, AND she spells his name without caps. She even gets MP & The Search for the Holy Grail and not only knows who Audrey Hepburn is, but likes her. I swear, if I were in high school again and lived in her town, we would totally hang out together.

I kinda wish I were still in high school, actually. Only I would want to know all the stuff I know now, so that I could be more relaxed about it and tell a few of the people who really needed telling to sod the hell off. Mainly I would like to go back and redo that time so that I would have the rest of the time I've already done ahead of me and maybe not squander so much of it on really stupid stuff and letting fear make all my decisions for me. Because far be it from me to quote Dune, but fear really is the mindkill, and I wish I'd managed to be a little more fearless a lot more soon in life. As far as high school itself goes, I don't really need to fix anything, other than the aforementioned sod the hell off thing. Junior and senior years were great. I have no complaints whatsoever, except for Belinda Smith, who was a raving bitch and bully, and would be one of the people I would tell to sod off. And Ms. Lewis, who quite wrongly accused me of cheating on that one Civics test near the beginning of senior year. Seriously. I never had to crack a book once the entirety of K - 12th grades. Like I needed to cheat on a podunk Civics test listing the names of the presidents from Lincoln to the present, in chronological order. Hell; I can do that NOW, many years later. But do a little thing like write their names down backwards on your desk because you're not allowed to use your test for scratch paper, forget to rub them off the damned desk afterward, and the next thing you know, you're pulled out of class 2 periods later to explain to a furious teacher who has yanked your desk out into the hall as Exhibit A how no, you didn't cheat, you just needed to work your way backward from Kennedy, because you couldn't do it the other way in your head, and then have to make an appointment to take an oral exam later in the day to prove that you weren't cheating, and then STILL you have to deal with doubts and recriminations.

Sheesh.

No, my friends, if I had it to do over, I would cut class in high school more, not cut class first semester of college as much, and take that damn journalism scholarship to Texas Tech. Just because they give it to you doesn't mean you have to major solely in journalism, dimwit. Two words: double major. And Lubbock probably isn't that bad. Again, sheesh.

But anyway, this entry is not about that. No, it is not. It's actually about my handy dandy new blow drier. The Conair 1875 Ion Shine.

Ooooo! Aaaaaah!

First let me say that I already have a blow drier. I actually had 2. My older one, a Revlon 1875, and the quiet one, a Revlon Quiet 1875. I actually prefered the older one, because it was faster and dried my hair fairly quickly, which,now that I have shoulder length hair at last, is fairly important, because really, who wants to stand all bent over so your hair is hanging upside down any longer than you really have to? Not to mention I find hair drying tedious in the extreme and wouldn't do it at all if only my hair would give up this ridiculous propensity to frizz and go all cowlicky when I let it dry on its own. But my hair, my friends, has a mind of its own, and I find myself compelled to force it into submission each and every day. And that means I need a fast blowdrier, because really, who the hell wants to spend any more time on that task than you really need to? I mean, I realize there are girls who absolutely live for this crap, but I am not one of them, so for me, the thought of poring over my hair with blowdriers and curling irons and hairspray and stuff like mousse and other products with nifty cute names like Bed Head and the like is really akin to having bamboo shoots jammed under my fingernails.

Well, not really, because that would actually hurt, whereas the other is just a monumental pain in the ass. But you get what I mean. Hell, I don't even really use "product" in my hair.

I know. I can hear the gasps of horror now. My stylist simply can not wrap his brain around the fact that I can not stand to have crap in my hair, but I look at it this way. If someone says they like my hair, I want it to actually be my hair they like. I want it to be shiny and silky because it actually IS shiny and silky, not because it has a ton of cyclo- and dimethicone shellacking it into submission. And I want TB to be able to touch it and have it feel all shiny and silky, not sticky or stiff or dry or wiry or any number of other things it feels when you spray crap into it, because let's face it, they can call it soft, touchable hold all they friggin' want, there's not a hairspray in the world that can actually deliver on that promise AND still hold your hair in place. Don't bother trying to argue with me, any of you slaves to hair style or styling products. You are wasting your breath and your money.

But I digress. I sort of broke my older, faster hairdrier in a fit of rage the other day after the asswipe of a bully pulled his schtick on me, because the injustice and random bullshit of the whole thing just really pissed me off, and I happened to be holding my hairdrier at the time.

Now, understand, I did take the time first to ponder the repercussions of slamming one's hairdrier really hard on the bathroom counter, especially while it was running, and I fully realized this would mean I would have to buy a new one, but I was pretty much planning on doing so anyway, because while it was fast, it was loud as freaking hell, and anyway, I had the second more quiet one as a backup, so really, the cost of replacement was not adequate deterrent. And since I have a few issues with anger management when I feel like I am being unreasonably bullied and pushed around or taken advantage of - a byproduct of growing up in the Doyle household, I imagine - I decided the more prudent course of action was to give in to my anger and demolish my hairdrier. Which I then did. And it felt great, so I do not in the slightest regret my decision. I would, however, advise those of you who might find yourselves doing the same thing at some point in the future to unplug the hairdrier first. A)I think it will cut down on the rather unpleasant ozoney smell, and b)I imagine it probably lessens your chances of electrocution when the hairdryer disintegrates in your hand.

Just a little tip from your Aunt Katie.

And no, I did not shock myself, but that was probably due more to sheer blind luck than any sort of foresight or dexterity on my part. It did smell bad, though. At any rate, this meant that I would have to go buy a hairdrier, because now that I no longer have Winona Ryder Super Short Pixie Hair (or in the more recent sense, Alissa Milano SSPH), the nice quiet drier that I have is really too damn slow and takes like a Million Years to dry my hair. So I went to Target and stood in the personal appliances aisle and surveyed the many many choices for personal grooming tools and finally picked one that promised to be fast *and* quiet and had the added benefit of a Double Ionic Port System, which promotes shiny, conditioned, healthy hair, because as any haircare savant knows, "Ions help to reduce frizziness and static electricity that dull hair." All of which is all well and good, but the real reason I chose it is that its all black and silver and has lots of lovely shiny silver glitter bits in the black finish.

Okay, the glittery finish is even more cheesy than the ridiculous blurbs on the box about the stupid "Double Ionic Port System," and I feel like I should be in junior high using such a twinkly blowdrier, but I have to say, the damn thing dries my hair in glorious near peace and quiet in like 5 minutes, and THAT, my friends, is what it's all about. Kudos to the Conair Ion Shine 1875 Watt Double Ionic Port System, silver glitter and all.

It does, however, tangle my hair like it's never been tangled before. But my hair is nice and shiny and static free, so you just can't have everything, I guess.

Peace out,
Katie

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