Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Sunday, Jul. 17, 2005 - 1:27 a.m.

Watching 13 Going On 30 and wishing I were Jennifer Garner. Except for that whole pregnant with Ben Affleck's baby thing. That part I am happy to do without.

Apropos of nothing, other than this evening's surfing, I would like to state unequivocally for the record that, having grown up in Texas and spent the first 17 years of my life living on dairy farms in the frigging sticks, where I would certainly have heard the term if it really did exist at all, I have never in my life heard the term "Turd Blossom" except as it applies to Karl Rove via GW Bush. It is not a "Texanism" (and I'm thinking they can see my air quotes all the way in New Jersey). I would surely know it if it were, having spent close to 30 years there and being completely and utterly familiar with every other bizarre Texas expression ever uttered. Including, but not limited to, "dumb as a boxa rocks," "sweatin' like a stuck pig," "colder'n a witch's titty in a brass bra," and the words tump, jeet, and dingleberries, just to name a few. Frankly, I think it's all a big joke on the White House Press Corps. They were told it means a flower that blooms in the middle of a cow patty just to see how many of them were gullible enough to print that without even *trying* to verify whether or not it's true, and apparently, quite a few of them are. Trust me: until George W. Bush came along, tweren't no one in Texas usin' that term.

Jonny C is doing a play at The Other Space at The Santa Monica Playhouse, and I went to see him in it for the second time tonight. He's understudying two roles, and he did the second one tonight; he did the other one around July 1. It's the first time I've gotten to see him really act, and he's very funny. :) I'd seen him in another play, but his role wasn't very large, and I'd seen him in some commercials and an episode of Almost Perfect, but this time I got to see him really do stuff, and he's damn funny. :) The play is called Pecker Patter and was written by two men as a sort of male version of The Vagina Monologues (and you will never know how hard it was for me to type out that v-word, which I have lividly hated my entire life; I only mentioned it because it's a relevant title...that word is just ugly-sounding). The play is very amusing most of the time and downright guffaw-worthy a lot of the time, and Jon was hilarious, so it was fun. The play is written by Frank "Franky C" Carrasquillo and Mel Kohl, and is directed by Frank Bonner. I'm sure Mr. Bonner would rather I point out he's a sharp director, but he will always be near and dear to my heart as Herb Tarlek of WKRP in Cincinatti, so if his name sounds familiar, there you go. :) My only negative critique is that it goes over the top a few times; aside from that, it's a fun and ribald little romp...that just got extended and is moving to a slightly bigger space, so if you live in LA, you might wanna check it out. :)

On the way back from the play, I was driving behind this suv with a video screen in it that was so huge, I could tell the movie they were watching was Point Break from 30 feet back. I'm not kidding. Seriously, I did not know you could get a screen that big for your car, and I can't imagine why in hell you would want one. It was at least a 24-incher, and I'll bet you 5 it was more like 27. It was HUGE. But that's not all. They were watching it on satellite. I mean, I didn't even know you could get satellite television in your car. But Em assures me that, indeed, you can, and that in fact, the only place on the planet you can not get satellite tv is in her apartment building. Not that she's bitter. My favorite part of the whole thing was when they changed the channel from Point Break to porn, and the cars on either side of me (I was directly behind the suv) started squeezing in on me as they were keeping pace. Obviously they - men, both cars - had noticed the gigantic freaking television screen and were obsessed by the shiny, pretty gadget. The fact that it had started showing a close up of a girl's ass just prior to having a male member inserted into it in extreme close-up* (and then the subsequent humping) was clearly too much for either driver to ignore. There was maybe a foot of air between their cars and mine, on either side. I was about to honk at them to move back into their lanes when they realized what they were doing and both moved away...though not entirely back into their lanes, I observed. Luckily, the suv changed back to Point Break, and both cars moved the rest of the way over. From there on out, it was back and forth between the porn and Keanu Reeves, but the other drivers behaved themselves and stayed where they belonged..

*I'm not exaggerating to say the screen was so large that the rearend in question was larger than my own would have appeared in the same position...not to mention it was in high-definition.

I don't know if I have mentioned, but it is just stupidly hot here these days. It was a relief to drive into Santa Monica this evening and enjoy that cool ocean breeze. The difference in temperature was close to 30 degrees, and no, I am not kidding.

Fell off the diet a bit yesterday.

Day 4:
breakfast: grapenuts
various snacks: sugar-free popsicles, carrots, sugar-free ice cream sandwich
lunch: none
dinner: half a chargrilled chicken chop bowl at KooKooRoo (rice, chicken, salad, fat-laden creamy saffron dressing), diet coke
dessert: snickerdoodle (I know)
late night snack: 2 sf popsicles (seriously; have I mentioned it's hot?); 1 beef tamale (I love them and one was made available. So okay, I ate it, but it's not like I went to bed for at least another 3 hours, so there.)

Day 5 (today):
breakfast: grapenuts
snack: 2 sf popsicles
lunch: none
pre-dinner snack: none
dinner: roasted turkey club sandwich with not much mayo and about 4 slices of bacon (I did not eat the crusts); 1 c. mashed potatoes, sans gravy because it was instant (ew); 4 onion rings dipped in ranch dressing (again, I know); diet coke
"snack", because now I am hungry all the freaking time, which isn't really a new thing, but is much more pronounced than it had been: a lot of carrots (probably close to 3 servings), a diet coke, a sf ice cream sandwich, and 2 squares of dark chocolate with almonds (35 calories, 21 from fat)

I had more to write about, but somewhere in there, me and Em took time to watch The Day After Tomorrow on the phone together, and now I don't remember what else. Have a good Sunday.

Peace out,
Katie

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Yesterday's News - Next Stop

In which Katie shares sad news - Wednesday, Apr. 01, 2015
In which Katie returns after a very long absence - Monday, Jun. 25, 2012
In which Katie pokes her head in and brushes some of the cobwebs away - Thursday, May. 06, 2010
In which Katie asks you to write your congressman again. - Monday, Jun. 02, 2008
In which Katie asks you to please click the link and send the message to protect the rights of artists - Wednesday, May. 21, 2008