Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Wednesday, Jul. 13, 2005 - 11:21 p.m.

HOLY CRAP, STOP THE PRESSES!!!

::pant, pant:: Oh, thank goodness. I caught you. Before we go any further, I really have to tell you - you know, in case you've been living in a fantasy land where nothing ever goes wrong and birds and bunnies are your bosom friends, who save you from villains and sing you to sleep - that--no. It's too terrible to say. Really, you don't want to know. It's a heartbreaking discovery of staggering genius, too horrible to give voice to.

Oh....but I must. No, really. I must. So sit down, take a deep breath, cross your fingers, and um, maybe keep the aspirin or nitro handy, just in case the sudden shock is too great for your heart, and here we go, with the single greatest surprise of this, or any other, century.

Ready?

Drinking too much soda causes cavities and might make you fat.

I know. Can you imagine??? And here, we thought it was totally harmless, all that calcium carbonate and sugar just roiling around in our mouths, coating our teeth, sitting in our stomachs, doing god knows what to our intestines, and the whole time, it was bad for our teeth and contributing to our weight gain as we lived our slothful, sedentary, sugar-guzzling, fat-wolfing, low-carb ways.

Damn it, we can't have nice things.

And if you missed any of that sarcasm or implied eye rolls, I am utterly crushed and can not be friends with you. Ever. Because dude, are you obtuse.

Thanks to the cat from hell, there is a mouse living under the stove and peeing wherever the hell it feels like it at the time. Barring those sticky traps, I am open to suggestions.

Anybody catch the Daily Show and all the lovely, lovely shots of White House reporters FINALLY playing hardball and pressing for real answers, calling Scott McClellan on all his bullshit? Ah, my heart knows no greater joy.

Mariah Carey holds September 11 responsible for the failure of Glitter.

When I finally managed to draw air into my spastic lungs and get my gale of laughter down to something that allowed me to actually think again, I rolled my eyes so hard I think I strained something in there.

"The talk shows needed something to distract from 9/11. I became a punching bag. I was so successful that they tore me down because my album was at number 2 instead of number 1. The media was laughing at me and attacked me."

Yeah. THAT's why Glitter bombed.

It couldn't possibly be because it is such a gicantically suckass movie that the only thing I've seen that's worse is Gigli, could it? Seriously, Glitter sucks so bad that if you hooked a vcr playing it up to the entire NYC sewer system, you'd not only clear out all the sewage in the pipes, you'd end up with the pipes and plumbing from the entire city right along with it. And yes, that's a pretty apt comparison, Glitter to sewage. And Mariah? Hello; narcissistic much?

Oo. And this just in, Tom Cruise apparently likes sex.

Thank the powers that be. We can all rest easy now.

Reverting back to the whole Valerie Plame thing for a moment, all I really think I'm going to say about it is this. Well, wait. Two things. Thing one being there's no way in hell Idiotboy is going to live up to his promise to fire anyone in his administration who outed Valerie Plame, and Karl "Can't Touch This" Rove is 100% free and clear on that whole "I never mentioned her by name" thing. And the other thing, the thing I was starting with, is that I do not understand why Robert Novak, who is the journalist who actually outed Plame in the press, has not been called to testify, is in no trouble, is under no pressure to cite his source, etc., but Judith Miller, who never wrote word fucking one about it, is in jail.

What the Fuck is THAT all about?

I have no love for Judith Miller, in fact, she's pretty much a hack, but I fail to understand how she's in jail over the Plame scandal when she never wrote a word about it, but fucking Robert Novak, who is the guy who wrote the article that started it all, is walking around without even a subpoena to deal with. Seriously, somebody - some Republican - thoroughly explain that to me using actual, sound logic.

Of course, Novak is no stranger to irony. Despite his bold claims it would violate his journalistic ethics to give up the name of his confidential source on the Plame leak, he has suffered no such qualms in the past, not only demanding Dan Rather and CBS give up their source for the Bush National Guard memos, but also in 2001, he gave up an anonymous source who 4 years before had given him inside information pertaining to then Attorney General Janet Reno, whom Novak reported for allegedly covering up a 1996 campaign finance scandal. But the juicy part of that is that the reason Novak indicated he was outing his source, Robert Hanssen, was because he supposedly felt the man was a traitor...for revealing the identities of undercover CIA operatives.

Ah, kettle, thou art blackened by fire. Your friend, the pot.

Of course, Novak's son, Alex, is the Director of Marketing for Regnery Publishing, the agency that not only brought you Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, but also publishes Novak's newsletter. In addition, Novak sits on the board of a foundation whose chief holdings are stock in Regnery's parent company. But I'm sure absolutely NONE of that has anything to do with why he was the first journalist to blab Plame's name, and yet still hasn't been asked to testify or to name his sources in any way.

Okay, so I said more than I meant to, but the good news is, that's all I'm probably gonna say. Though, it was beautiful to hear a member of the WHPC tell Scott McClellan he was ridiculous. :)

Diet Day 2:

breakfast: diet coke (i was running late)

snack: sugar-free ice cream sandwich (180/60...it's hot as hades, have i mentioned that?)

lunch: um, not so much.

snack: 8 oz. ranier cherries, about 5 baby carrots

dinner: mozzarella caprese (one medium beefsteak tomato, 3 oz. low-fat mozzarella cheese, basil, 3 Tbs. balsamic vinaigrette), 3 oz. steamed asparagus, and 4.5 oz. skinless chicken breast topped with 3 Tbs. goat cheese (I know), 2 tsp. chopped sundried tomato, 1 tsp. basil pesto, and 2 tsp. shredded basil.

dessert: sugar-free ice cream sandwich (again, it's HOT, people)

That's it for me. Tomorrow I am striving for actual breakfast. Like, grapenuts, even. Feel free to share those oh so filling yet low-cal menu items with me.

Peace out,
Katie

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Yesterday's News - Next Stop

In which Katie shares sad news - Wednesday, Apr. 01, 2015
In which Katie returns after a very long absence - Monday, Jun. 25, 2012
In which Katie pokes her head in and brushes some of the cobwebs away - Thursday, May. 06, 2010
In which Katie asks you to write your congressman again. - Monday, Jun. 02, 2008
In which Katie asks you to please click the link and send the message to protect the rights of artists - Wednesday, May. 21, 2008