Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Tuesday, Dec. 21, 2004 - 2:40 a.m.

Woohoo! This year's Christmas cd's are out and it's time to start the trading. :) (Okay, I know, I'm a geek. You really have no idea.) I'm really proud of my cover art this year, because it took many, many hours sitting in front of the computer until the wee hours of the morning - which, okay, I would have done anyway, but still - searching for the right font and then mimicking the original print work, which took some doing. I used a photo of a painting I took in France, and then I had to take out the words that were there and replace them with each letter individually, in a curve, and more in a semi-circle, and frankly, that's not the easiest thing in the world to do without a guideline, especially when you also have to stretch each letter to match the original font because the current version of the Tiffany font is not the 1878 version. From France. Then I had to settle on the right shade of brown which, when blurred, would look like the old font and like it was actually part of the artwork and not typed on top of an image. Which, for those of you who do this sort of thing all the time, would probably be easy, but for me? Yeah, not so much. Still, it looks damn good, if I do say so myself. :) I almost don't care if anyone likes the songs, the cover art is so cool. :)

I did take a more serious musical bent then I usually do, though. It seemed appropriate, what with all the crap going on in my life and the world this year. ::sigh::

Okay. So, like, I sliced the palm of my hand up a little (on accident; don't have a cow). I don't know if you've noticed, but the palm of the hand is not the most conducive surface for bandaid adhesion. So me, I think hey, they've got that new-fangled liquid skin stuff now, I'll give that a try.

Yeah, no.

Have you guys tried this stuff? Ho Lee Crap.

I know it says it has pain killer in it on the label. I personally think that's a misnomer. What it should say is that it contains a substance which, when painted on your open wound, will cause such insanely intense pain you will completely and utterly forget the pain caused by the wound itself and instead pray for rapid death from the hideous fire engulfing your entire limb, all while silently screaming every single cuss word you know, and then some - hell, you will make some up - and blinking furiously past the tears flooding your eyes so that you can check to see whether or not you have just painted acid onto yourself which is actually dissolving all your skin.

I am not kidding.

And you know how like, when your mom would put Camphophenique on your cuts when you were a kid (or alcohol, for those of you whose mothers stopped short of the torture Mary Doyle euphemistically called disinfecting a cut), you could blow on the stuff, and in a few seconds, the pain would stop?

Yeah, no.

Not only is this stuff really thick and kinda not quick-drying, but blowing on it actually MAKES THE PAIN WORSE.

I am not kidding.

Don't do that. Because, it hurts. It doesn't stay on very well, either, so you have to constantly reapply it, and no, it doesn't get any less painful upon subsequent coatings. And here's my favorite part: wherever the cut is, you're supposed to stretch the skin around it, so if say, it's on your knee, you're supposed to put this stuff on while your knee is bent. Or, if it's oh, I don't know, in the palm of your hand and between your middle two fingers, you're supposed to splay your fingers out as wide as you can while bending them up towards the back of your hand and stretching the skin of your palms out nice and tight.

Thus widening the wounds and making sure as much of your raw nerve ending is subjected to the stuff as possible.

Have I mentioned it smells like fingernail polish?

I want to write the makers of this stuff and ask them, "So, hey: which of these is the 'pain killer', Dyclonine Hydrochloride USP, or Benzethonium Choride, because frankly, this stuff hurts like blazes; what kind of sadistic bastards are you people, anyway?"

Then again, I suppose that particular phrasing would be counterproductive to an actual reply.

Ya think?

Peace out,
Katie

2 comments so far

"I know the story of A Christmas Carol like the back of my hand."
"Prove it!"
"Okay, there's a mole on my thumb and a scar on my wrist from when I fell off my bicycle..."

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Yesterday's News - Next Stop

In which Katie shares sad news - Wednesday, Apr. 01, 2015
In which Katie returns after a very long absence - Monday, Jun. 25, 2012
In which Katie pokes her head in and brushes some of the cobwebs away - Thursday, May. 06, 2010
In which Katie asks you to write your congressman again. - Monday, Jun. 02, 2008
In which Katie asks you to please click the link and send the message to protect the rights of artists - Wednesday, May. 21, 2008