Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Tuesday, Mar. 04, 2003 - 7:30 p.m.

My design is short, finally and at last, thank GOD. All I have to do is callouts. And the paving on the side walkway which I forgot to pave. And draw in the Really Big Tree which was drawn in on the tissue underneath the vellum, but which somehow missed transference to the big vellum. I went to get the pencil drawing (on vellum) copied onto another vellum, and holy crap, Batman, that is expensive. $13.56. I should not complain, because the awesome printing place which floated me all last semester and the first week of this one has made me several bond copies AND a free vellum, and that is VERY nice of them, but dayamn, that is some expensive copying.

Still, I am down to callouts. I can't tell you what an awesome fricking relief that is. Now I can study for my test tomorrow AND get my homework done. Can you hear the rejoicing from there? Because, it is some serious rejoicing.

On a downer note, my uncle died this morning. My dad's little brother. One of them, anyway; the Doyle family is HUGE. My dad has/d something like 17 brothers and sisters. Catholics, you know. Or Protestants. They're kinda hard to tell apart, except for the guilt... Anyway, my uncle died, and my dad is driving in from outta state with another one of his brothers and my stepmother, and the funeral is outta town on a weekday, and I know it sounds awful, but I really don't want to go. At all. In fact, it's a serious pain in the ass that I'm going to have to. But before you leap to conclusions about my lack of familial grace, let me 'splain.

See, all the relatives live in California. Mostly. There are a few here and there outside the state, but none where I grew up. And while my dad is insanely close to his siblings and has this big "family" thing, I do not. I just never seemed to catch that bug, what with the hitting and the isolation and the learning to fend entirely for myself. I pretty much learned that I am the only one I can count on, and that family is really only family when it's convenient. Or intent on misery in one form or another. So while my dad feels this huge bond for everyone in his family, immediate, extended, AND by marriage, I basically feel family is to be tolerated. And that only when you're forced to. By and large, I try to avoid family. There are exceptions, and my mom's side of the family seems more sane and mostly comprised of people I have some affinity for or with or whatever, but I haven't seen most of my dad's family since 4th grade, and that is like decades now. I don't have a lot of contact with my immediate family, and I've seen most of them at least once in the last 3 years. Although, there was that time - from 10th grade to oh, about the age of 23 or 4 where I didn't see my dad OR my oldest brother at all, though there was the occasional speaking to on the phone. Nasty divorce and all that. There's a lot of dysfunction in the Doyle household.

So you can imagine that if I don't really have much bonding with the members of my oh-so-tight immediate family unit, I really have some trouble working up any kind of feeling for the less immediate ones. Especially those I haven't really seen more than once in decades. At another funeral. My grandmother's, may she burn in hell. The dead one, not the live one, whom I love. The live one is very cool, but that's another story, and one we won't go into here. So, the point is that I am dealing with some level of consternation and no small amount of ambivalance. I should go to the funeral; I don't want to go. I want to be there for my dad; I really don't want to go or deal with any of it, and really, does my dad actually need me to be there at all? I should show solidarity, or whatever, for my dad's family; who the hell cares - would they even notice I was absent? Can't I just go down later, like after a full night's sleep and between rush hours, and say hi then? My dad wants to see me, but good God, what a chore THAT is. It sucks, really. The man loves me, and since my adulthood and our subsequent re-establishment of some lameass sort of communication or diplomatic relations, or whatever the hell it is we have, he has tried really hard to be a dad. Problem is, I don't really need (or I guess want) a dad now. Where the hell was he when I couldn't learn to tell time? Oh yeah: he was the huge guy knocking me out of my chair because I couldn't learn to tell time. Oh, yeaaaaah...

So, you see my conundrum.

Ain't I got fun?

People should just stay alive and above ground. Then I wouldn't have to deal with stuff like this. ::sigh::

But you know, my design is almost done. And that's a good thing.

Peace out,
Katie

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We don't have to like each other. We're family.

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Yesterday's News - Next Stop

In which Katie shares sad news - Wednesday, Apr. 01, 2015
In which Katie returns after a very long absence - Monday, Jun. 25, 2012
In which Katie pokes her head in and brushes some of the cobwebs away - Thursday, May. 06, 2010
In which Katie asks you to write your congressman again. - Monday, Jun. 02, 2008
In which Katie asks you to please click the link and send the message to protect the rights of artists - Wednesday, May. 21, 2008