Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Saturday, Feb. 26, 2005 - 12:24 a.m.

I hate places that charge more for a girl haircut than a boy haircut. The $35 haircut? Actually $65. Yes. I said $65. Sixty. Five. In *Sherman Oaks*; I mean, it's not like I was anywhere near 90210. Plus, I had to pay tip and valet. Only in LA do you have to valet your car for a haircut. So the total?

$86.

I know. When you finish coughing, take a deep breath and imagine *my* shock and surprise, and then we'll move on.

But let me say first, that what really frustrates me about the whole thing (besides the fact that I can not afford $86 haircuts right now) is that she gave me the exact same haircut that I already had and hated, despite the fact that I showed her exactly what I wanted and was very clear in what I said. So I will not be going back there again, and I am trying to be philosophical about all the time it took me to grow this hated cut out the last time. Consider it hair karma and move on, I suppose, but I look forward to visiting Todd the Hair God the next time I need a cut. ::sigh::

I start my new job on Monday, so since I have no clothes left which are not t-shirts or jeans with holes in them (or sweaters with holes in them, but that's a whole different story I won't go into, because it's pretty bitter)(bitter? you, katie? nooo....)(shut up), and since I got paid for the last 2 weeks of work today, I went shopping and got 4 pairs of jeans, some nice blouses, a coupla pullover shirts, and 2 bras.

Warning, Male Katie Doyle Readers: gratuitous female undergarment discussion/rant to follow.

Now that that's out of the way, who else out there - seriously, show of hands - has an insane amount of trouble finding bras that fit? I am just short of a C and between a 32 and a 34.

Can I say hell? Seriously, no one makes a 32C. I mean, they do, but they make like, *1* for every 50 other cup sizes, so what you get is a rack full of 32A's and 32B's, and *maybe* one 32C, and it usually happens to be in a style I don't like or that doesn't fit well and is uncomfortable. As for being a 33, well, that just sucks all the way around. 32's are too tight and 34's are not snug enough, so either way, they constantly crawl up my back, and I spend my day pulling the damn thing down every 5-10 minutes, which, frankly, I was raised is in very poor taste, but damn it, a bra that's riding high drives me insane, it's so uncomfortable. I absolutely hate bra shopping, so usually if I find a bra that fits well, I will buy every single one they have in my size. The last time I did that was 2000. Consequently, all my bras are wearing out, and I have to buy more. Ergo, I went bra shopping tonight. I tried on every single 32B, 32C, 34B, and 34C I could find.

Know what I found? I found that in the last 5 years, bra makers have sneakily changed their bra sizing so that if you're talking a regular run of the mill bra built for regular (ie. not full-figured) sized people, I need a 32 or 34 *D* to comfortably hold the girls without pinching or causing an unsightly poochy crease where the inside top edge of the bra runs. I am not a D-cup, people. Trust me on this. And the full-figure bra people know this, as, in desperation, I searched through them and managed to find a few 34D's and C's, both of which were far too big for me. Seriously, I could hear the Bali people laughing and saying "dream on, babe". No, if I try on a full-figure bra, I am apparently an A-cup, because even the B-cups were NOT good fits.

I spent 2 hours searching through countless identically-cloned styles in over a dozen different brands, trying to find a decently fitting, comfortable bra and came away with two. Neither of which fits all that well, but they do fit...by and large. One is a brown satin-lycra lace Warner C (for the regular girls) and causes bra ridge pooch, and the other is a white cotton demicup Bali B and is not quite, er, cuppy enough, but it does not wrinkle or look weird, so I found it acceptable. Mainly because I'm desperate. And they were both way more than I care to spend on a foundational undergarment, especially if it's one I do not find particularly pretty or comfortable. My favorite bras, and the ones that have lasted the longest, are Olga brand, but the only ones I could find in that brand were for much larger women than I, and looked more like over the shoulder boulder holders than anything I want to put on my chest. Seriously, they were like lacy kevlar vests. If my breasts ever get that big, somebody shoot me, because holy smokes, those things were *huge*. And what is UP with all the padded bras out there? Are that many women seriously bummed about their breast size? Because frankly, I'd love it if mine were smaller. I used to be a good, solid B, and I loved those days. These C things? They suck. I'm hoping when I lose weight, they'll drop some too, but they were C's before this extra 25 pounds glued itself to my ass and upper arms, so I don't think they'll ever be cute, perky little B's again. But just in case they will, I still have all my cute little B bras. I am nothing if not optimistic.

Shut up; I am too.

Besides bras, I also bought new jeans (yay!). I decided it might be nice to have some lowrise jeans, so I tried on some that I was forced to immediately dub buttcrack jeans and move away from. They fit, but while I do not wear high underwear, (I wear the ones that are like 1.5" higher than bikini underwear and cover my butt cleavage by about an inch), my underwear was sticking up above the waistband in back by quite a bit. I do not need jeans that are lower than my underwear. Because for jeans to be lower than my underwear, my butt cleavage is either showing or in jeopardy of such, and as I am not interested in seeing other people's butt cleavage, I am *definitely* not interested in showing my own. My buddy Pam calls those ass crack jeans. She had a diary entry (see "Getting a Super Low Rise Out Of Me") about trying on some herself that had me in hysterics, and I have to say, I now know entirely too well what she was going thru, and no thank you. There are those of us who know our limits, thank you very much. I don't happen to think soft *20* year olds look good in 4" rise jeans, so I am not about to wedge my somewhat older size 8, fatty ass into a pair. Or a 6" rise, either. I think the only girl who probably looks good in buttcrack jeans is a twiggy supermodel who works out religiously and has muscles galore and a serious cookie jones. Alla y'all 20-somethings with that little bit of pudge on your hips or around your waist, who tell yourselves you look good in your short shirt and buttcrack jeans? Trust me, you do not. Yes, guys want to do you, but that does not mean you look good. Guys want to do anything they even think they might have a chance gettin' to, and a hell of a lot of things there's no way in hell they're ever gonna tap. And a girl walkin' around with her butt crack showing is a wet dream come true and a promise of paradise, no matter *what* she looks like. So you can not take a horny guy's opinion as sound fashion sense.

I'm just sayin'.

I ended up with Levi's 515's, which come to about 1.5 - 2" below my belly button, and so trust me, that is all the lower a pair of jeans EVER needs to go on me. I know what looks good on my body and what doesn't, and that, my friends, is where I draw the line. And even that is slightly questionable at the moment.

You know, speaking of butt crack, and as a sidebar, would someone explain to me why the fuck cigarettes are legal to sell and no one in government makes a stink over the sale of them, even though they are a known carcinogen and health hazard, but friggin' SEX TOYS are illegal? What the fuck is wrong with people? And what do you care what I may or may not shove into my various orifices? I'm not doing it in front of you or inviting you to watch. I'm not doing it with your husband or wife or inviting him/her to watch. I'm doing it - or would be, if I were actually a user of sex toys, which I am not, but which I am hypothetically presenting to be for the purposes of demonstration - in the privacy of my own bedroom. I'm not making sex tapes and putting them on the internet or floating them on public access or cable. I'm not taking pictures. So seriously, if I want to buy a sex aid, sex toy, dildo, ben wa balls, a friggin' french tickler, or even condoms which have been ribbed for my pleasure, what the hell business is it of yours?

Know what business it iso f yours ?

None. So grow up and get over your stupid little repressed self.

Oh yeah, I forgot. Women aren't supposed to enjoy sex or feel sexual pleasure under the current regime and the oppressive thumb of fundamentalist dickheads. Sex is only for reproduction. At least, that is if you're female. Men, they get to enjoy it all they want. Unless they're gay, at which point their sexual gratification threatens the very fabric of existence, so definitely no sexual gratification there, even if they're flying solo, which is why the sex toy is there. Single women and gay men have no business getting off on their own time, in their own homes, by themselves. Alabama says so.

And while we're on the subject of sex, over in Kansas, rabidly asinine anti-choice Attorney General Phill Kline is demanding the complete case files for approximately 90 women who had abortions in the state in 2003. He claims it's "to investigate and prosecute child rape and other crimes in order to protect Kansas children", but frankly, I'm not buying it. Especially as not all the women are young girls, and the clinics are forbidden to tell the women in question that their records have been siezed, and he doesn't just want to know their age and how far along they were at the time, he wants their *complete records*, including details such as what contraception they use, the details of their sex lives, their psychological profiles, etc. etc. etc. Basically, what it amounts to is a campaign in fear and intimidation, rooted in a blatant violation of privacy, designed to scare women into submission and live life they way *he* decides they should live it. Think that sucks? Tell him so here. Tell him Katie sent ya.

By the way, have I mentioned LA has gotten over 34" of rain so far this season? The average is 19. What happened to the desert? Today in a random bit of freakness, it was sunny and reasonably warm, when all of a sudden there was this shockingly loud crack of thunder, and then it started to sprinkle. Bright and sunny, but there was quite a bit of thunder and it sprinkled. It was like that for an hour, and then the sun went away. It was kinda weird. I'm used to that in Texas, but not here. We've also been getting Texas-style thunderstorms and rain. Rain here is not normally like Texas rain. It's normally what Texans would refer to as a drizzle. If it's raining hard, it's what they'd call a slight sprinkle. But lately, it's been actual weather. I hardly know how to react, except to say that it was nice for a while, but now? Cut it out.

Dude, this guy just looks like a dork, even with the identity-protecting black bar. Good luck, girl.

Did I mention, btw, that I saw "Ray" and that Jamie Foxx was scarily good in it? I think I did, but he was so good, it bears repeating. Um, and I got some really cute blouses for the new job, so except for the fact that I need a new pair of sneakers to replace the 2 year old ones I am currently still wearing, I am set for clothing for a while now. I just need it to get nice and warm, so I can wear it all. :)

That's it for me. Time for bed. I was going to do the Friday Finds, but this turned into an actual entry, and now I'm tired, so gotta go.

Peace out,
Katie

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In which Katie shares sad news - Wednesday, Apr. 01, 2015
In which Katie returns after a very long absence - Monday, Jun. 25, 2012
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In which Katie asks you to write your congressman again. - Monday, Jun. 02, 2008
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