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Much as it pains me to say this - oh, how it pains me - let's talk about perimenopause, shall we? That's right, I said it. The PM-word. Which is almost as bad as the M-word. And apparently, I am now in it. Despite my tender years and the fact that I started the whole PMS thing *years* later than everyone else I knew, so you'd think I'd stay in it longer than anyone else I know, and despite one of my best friends who is 5 years older than me just entering it herself last year, so you'd think I'd at least get to squeeze another 4 years out of my good plumbing years, I have begun the joys that come with depleting levels of this and escalating imbalances of that, and headaches, cramps, and raging freaking hormones are now a daily adventure for me. For instances: 1. I just had my period June 16. It was 3 weeks late and unimaginably painful. I literally could not stand up the first 8 hours of it. I should be good for another 2 - 4 weeks. Yet today, I have had cramps off and on the entire day. They actually started last night, when I was trying to sleep. 2. Last week, whilst trying to cut a roast chicken in half, I had all kinds of difficulty, which caused me to fly into a rage and start ranting, all while wielding a 10" butcher knife...and then promptly dissolve into tears and begin sobbing hysterically, a transition that took less than a second. TB very carefully took the knife away from me. He did it as a joke, but he was also worried I was going to hurt myself, if for no other reason than I couldn't see what I was doing through all my tears. And that's pretty much par for the course. There's also headaches from hell, leg cramps, the sweating (albeit not night sweats and no heat flashes, thank GOD), neverending bloating, painful breasts (sorry, male readers), exaustion, and I don't know if it's related or not, but a stabbing pain right at the bottom of my shoulder blades. Mainly, it's the bouncing ball of hormones that's sucking. That, and the emotions that come with having to deal with the fact that my childbearing years are coming to an end, and what does that make me good for at all? What do I have to offer a guy if I can't have his kids? I have to say, I feel really unattractive right now, and the damn bloating isn't helping. Neither is the fact that my hormonal emotions are on a 30 second cycle, so at any given time during the day, I want to kick the crap out of something, hug something, or dissolve into a quivering mass of jell-o and cry uncontrollably. Mostly, though, I just want to break stuff. ::sigh:: Send help. Peace out, copyright 2002
- 2005 Katie Doyle; all rights reserved
In which Katie shares sad news - Wednesday, Apr. 01, 2015
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