Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Monday, Aug. 20, 2007 - 5:08 p.m.

Feeling a little better after a few days out of the hospital. Still feel shaky/dizzy and nauseated sometimes, and like I'm stoned without actually being stoned, which is not the most pleasant of sensations. But my pupils have stayed proper size and matching, so that's all good. I have follow ups this week and next with the hematologist and neurologist, and an appointment for a consult with the ob-gyn for a colposcopy. W00t.

Here's something you never, ever want to do: hit your significant other in the face. :( I did that this weekend, totally not meaning to, but horsing around when TB *wasn't* horsing around or ready for it, and I ended up punching him in the jaw. He was very nice about it, but I felt (and feel) like a total asshole. I'm also done horsing around in that manner, ever again. :( You can't imagine the degree of crappy feeling until you've done something that thoughtless and stupid and hurt a person you care about. He was really bothered I was so careless (as in without having a care, not as in not being careful) as to actually hit in him the frigging face, and I can not say I blame him in the slightest. It was really nice of him to forgive me for it. If he'd punched me in the head, I can't say I'd have been so calm about it.

The look on his face just utterly killed me, too. It was a thousand times worse than the parental Look of Disappointment. I never wanted to see that look on his face with regards to me, and then I went and soundly put it there, and I'm sure that it will forever color the way he sees and feels about me. That sucks more than I can say. I would give anything in the world to undo the whole thing. :(

I was gonna post some links, but now that I've confessed my assitude, I don't feel like veering away from it would demonstrate proper respect for the gravity of it, so I'll just end here.

Katie

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