Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Wednesday, Dec. 21, 2005 - 6:05 p.m.

Merry Christmas, yo.

That's right, I said it. Merry freakin' Christmas. And Happy Hanukkah to alla y'all that do that Menorrah thing. I'm late for Diwali, but if you celebrated it, I hope it was lovely. And I wish you'd pick a regular date for that, because unless you are Hindu or know someone who is, it's hard to pin that thing down every year...

The Senate shut down drilling in ANWR for the time being. Merry Christmas, caribou, and other friends from the big snowy tundra. :) I thought sure it would pass, so today's vote was a big old "up yours" to the asshat from Alaska who stuck it in with money for Iraq and Zone Katrina figuring there was no way it wouldn't pass if he did so, and he could finally push it thru after 25 years of trying. Yes, Sen. Stevens, I'm talking to you. Take that muthaf****. :)

See, folks, I don't know if you know it or not, but here's what you would get for destroying the fragile ecosystem that is the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and Prince William Sound: 2% less dependence on foreign oil.

Two percent.

That means that out of every 100 barrels of oil America imports from the Middle East and other places, two (2) barrels would be replaced by oil from ANWR.

Two. Out of 100.

Middle East: 98
ANWR: 2

Hardly the major reduction in imports Republicans would like you to believe it is, huh?

I feel safer from terrorists already.

What would that translate to at the pump? 5 cents a gallon at current prices? I doubt it would make any difference at all, since Exxon is hardly about to cut into its record profits to save *me* money. And we wouldn't see a drop for at least another 10 years. So drilling in ANWR is NOT about freeing America from it's dependence on foreign oil, and it's not about you and me saving money at the pump, and don't you believe it when they tell you it is. Because 2%? That's just laughable. That's a druggie grasping at Drano. And the guys grasping at it know that.

And now, on to the Christmas portion of the entry.

I am all over the frigging bruhaha that seems to grow larger every single year over ::GASP:: wishing someone Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays. Frankly, though I am christian, I do not care if you wish me Happy Hanukkah instead of Merry Christmas. Or even the bland safety of Happy Holidays. You wish me what's dear to your heart, and frankly, if you're Jewish, and Hanukkah is what's important to you, then that's the greeting that will be most heartfelt, and if I choose to get offended over that, then a) I'm an anal-retentive idiot with WAAAAAYYYYY too much to whine about, and b) I am completely missing the point of the season, which is to share the love that's in your heart with others around you. I'm probably also c) way too insecure, sensitive, and intolerant. If you choose to toss the Merry Christmas in there at me along with the Hanukkah happiness, well, so much the better and thank you for thinking of my own holiday while you were at it. But I don't need you to tack it on to know what's behind your wish, and thank you for the goodwill, however it comes.

Now. You people freaking out because I might say Happy Holidays over Merry Christmas, RELAX. Sometimes I say Happy Holidays. Again, the wish is the same: I hope this season of peace, hope, love, and goodwill toward ALL men finds you well and happy, with all of your health and that of those you love. It does not mean, "Hello, Satan, would you care to come over for some tea and sodomy, and oh, what the hell, while we're at it, let's burn some bibles and sacrifice some christians on the unholy altar of your pure ungodly evilness, shall we?" It just means I respect that everyone in the world does not believe as I do, and that that's okay, because I hope they're doing okay anyway. If I can't do that this one time of year when I celebrate the birth and life of the man who who is supposed to be responsible for having taught that that's important, then I am a freaking piss poor excuse for a "christian." Thank you.

ALL THAT BEING SAID, here's the deal: You people getting offended because I choose to say Merry Christmas, back the fuck off. I notice that a great deal of you choose to have a tree and give presents, regardless of your religious affiliation or lack thereof, and frankly, that offends every sensibility I have, that you will reject the celebration of the birth of Christ and any well-wishing that might be attached to it, but you will fully embrace the commercialism and greed that rolls in with the season, and that is perfectly okay with you*. You still act crappy, you still behave like idiots, you will still do anything you can to beat someone to the best parking space or closest spot in line or the last item in the sales bin, but ME you are offended by, because I choose to say "Merry Christmas" instead of Happy Holidays. Christmas is not about that crap. It's about peace and love, not your new car, Performance Fleece, iPod Nano, Amazing Amanda, XBox 360, or any of the other crap you are placing on a very bright altar and singing the praises to, but if you are going to have a tree and wrap gifts for underneath it, you had damn well better get over everyone wishing you a Merry Christmas. I know an awful lot of people out here who are non-Christians, but who claim to "celebrate Christmas" anyway, and frankly, that deeply offends me, because they're doing it for the gifts. Christmas is not about gifts. Gifts are a nice tradition, but they are not the reason for the holiday. Christmas is about the birth of Christ. If you want to hear Happy Holidays, a) you need to be honest about your holiday celebrations, and b) you'd better start calling that holiday with the tree and the eggnog and the presents Yule, because what you are celebrating despite the sneer on your face and the whine about how I'm subjugating your ass and not being respectful to your beliefs is not the holy holiday I call Christmas, and every time you deck your halls and shit on December 25 just so you can get free goods, you disrespect my views and my beliefs. But that seems to be okay with you, despite your heated protestations about how *I'm* all intolerant and prejudicial for saying Merry Christmas. Here's a news flash for you: I'm tired of you bastardizing my holy holiday and then pitching a hissy fit because I said Merry Christmas. Make up your damn mind. Either get rid of the tree and presents, or shut the fuck up when I say Merry Christmas, because I have had it with your whiny fucking ass.

Bygones.

And Happy New Year.

Peace out,
Katie

*please note that i do not object to atheists, pagans, druids, wiccans, hindus, muslims, etc. celebrating the winter holiday of yule. i object to those who do and then have a meltdown over the christian concept of christmas. historically, dec. 25 was a celebration the catholic church hijacked. go have yule and be happy. give gifts, peace, love, etc. i hope you have a wonderful celebration. just don't freak out if i say merry christmas, that's all. thank you.

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