Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Friday, Jun. 22, 2007 - 7:05 p.m.

So, apparently, the older you get, the less inclined you are to put up with other people's bullshit, and it's not just me. That's sort of a relief, because I've always had a somewhat cantankerous nature, so I thought maybe my patience had just sort of never been much to begin with, and this relatively new increase in irritation at the "antics" of others was just me being bitchy. (Yes, some of it *is* me just being bitchy; shut up.) But I've been talking to some of the older people at work, and it really is just something that happens when you get older. Once you round 35 or so, you realize just how much of the game is insecurity and petty crap, and you just lose patience with putting up with it, especially from people just barely in their 20's, who think they know how the world works when they just haven't got a damn clue. It's not their fault, because they haven't been around long enough to really see and understand, but what makes it hard to tolerate their idiocy is that they're too arrogant to even acknowledge that they haven't been around long enough to have it all figured out, and there might just be stuff they don't know and haven't experienced, and quite frankly, just don't get.

Something happens to you in your 20's. When you're in your teens, you know you don't have it all figured out yet. You're still in learning phase, and you're smart enough to grasp that. Then somewhere around 20, you start buying into the press, and you think the entire world does actually revolve around you and your discretionary income, and that since you're going to be the one to light the world on fire, everyone else should just shut up and get out of your way. You start thinking you have most of the answers, and the ones that you don't are inconsequential or will somehow mysteriously land in your possession by the time you're 25. Or maybe 30, if you're busy having a lot of fun. You're too inexperienced to know this is a crock, and too young to care. This stage of arrogance lasts until you've graduated from college and had a few realities knocked into you at your first real entry-level job in the field of your chosen endeavor. Or longer, if you're privileged or a slow-learner.

Or, you know, George W. Bush.

Somewhere in your 30's - if you are at all self-aware - you realize you not only don't have all the answers, but you're still actually learning. You realize that while you might *be* an adult, you don't *feel* like an adult, and holy crap, this is how your parents felt when you were 6, and dude, what happens when you have to start parenting your own kids?!?!? You realize that the world is an increasingly younger place, and that while you still feel 20, you are now substantially older than many of the people now populating some of your favorite hangouts. This strikes you as remarkably unfair, seeing as you don't *feel* any older, but your body has now actually begun the aging process, and regardless of how you *feel*, the people you thought of as your peers just yesterday look at you as someone who might know their parents and could not possibly grasp the raw energy of the latest pop/rock sensation, on accounta you probably go to bed by 10 and forgot what it's like to be young, and isn't it funny that you can't hear the newest ringtone on their phones.

You can, but they think you can't. On accounta you being old, and all.

You still feel like one of them, so this attitude is a little annoying. But you keep your cool and mentally roll your eyes at their immaturity, and it doesn't bother you. Much.

Then you hit your 40's, and you find the foibles of the young ridiculous. You started regularly watching the news sometime in the last 2 decades, so you know what's going on in the world. You've had kids, you've been at your profession for 20 years, you're up on all the newest gadgets/news, most of the newest entertainment, you've been around the block a few times, you know how things work, where they work, mostly why they work, and you realize just how much of life is comprised of people playing games to get what they want, and how much of a pain in the ass that is. When you need something, you want to just be able to say "I need this," rather than having to ask for it and wait for someone else to decide whether or not you can have it, and without having to justify why you want/need it. You don't want to ask for permission to do stuff, because you've been on the earth long enough to know how to do whatever it is without supervision. And you have less and less patience for people who whine about having to take responsibility. Because you understand that we all have certain responsibilities, we will have those responsibilities until the day we die, and that those responsibilities are what drive society. That without them, things would pretty much grind to a halt, or at the very least, head straight to hell in a handbasket. That's just the way it is. And you have ever-shrinking tolerance of those who either don't grasp that, refuse to grasp that, or insist on whining about that.

It's called growing up. And even though in your heart you still feel like a kid, you realize you're an adult now. And with that new status comes new responsibility. And you just want the freedom to execute the duties of your new responsibilities without having to deal with the inexperienced crap of someone who only *thinks* he/she knows about being a grown up and what drives the world and society and life*. You just want to get things done, and you'd like to do so with as little hassle as possible, as quickly as possible, so that you can get on with the fun part of actually living. You've realized that while there's more to life than crap, the crap tends to get in the way an awful lot, and you don't really have time for it any more, what with understanding now that your lifespan is actually finite. So you really just want to get your tasks done as quickly as possible, as smoothly and pleasantly as possible, with a modicum of whining, and without anyone making them last longer or taking on any extra degree of difficulty, and frankly, you just don't have the patience for people who gum that plan up.

So you lose patience with other people's bullshit, and you start calling them on it. And since you understand how much of life is petty crap, you start not caring that calling people on their crap can result in petty crap. It's just not that important anymore. And that's kinda liberating. I wish I were further along in my development than I am, because I find it really nice to tell someone to shut up and get out of my way when they're in mid-whine. After all the years of thinking that crap meant something, to know that it really doesn't is increasingly awesome, the more I realize how free I am to ignore it.

But it's still nice to know I'm not the only one who feels that way. Because while I understand it's crap, I still want people to like me and not think I'm a hideous person. So it's nice to know I've got peers who agree with me and understand when I tell someone to move out of the way mid-whine. They get it. And um, there's safety in numbers.

Or something. :)

Peace out,
Katie

* I realize, btw, that as I have not yet hit mid-life, there's still an awful lot I don't know. I said I'm an adult. Not a grown-up. There's a difference. :)

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