Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Tuesday, Aug. 28, 2007 - 12:48 a.m.

I hate, beyond all that is holy and a helluva lot that isn't, the group A Fine Frenzy. Specifically, the album "One Cell in the Sea." Seriously, I would not shed a tear for a well-placed plane crash, at this point. See, at the major chain bookstore in which I work, we also have a music department. And the company takes payola to play bands' cd's over the PA system from the music department. And one of those albums - one in unbelievably heavy "rotation" is the aforementioned album. And it is the most unbefuckinglievably depressing fucking album ever recorded. By the end of track 3, I want to put a bullet through my brain every single time I hear it, now that I've heard it about a gajillion times in the last 2 months or so. It's in a rotation with 3 other cd's, so in a typical shift, I hear it a minimum of 3 times. And the label paid for heavy rotation, which means some shifts, it plays every other cd. Which means literally every other 45 minutes is comprised of that cd playing. And tonight, I heard it nonfuckingstop for the first 2.5 hours of my shift, because the girl working in the music department loves it, so she put the damned thing on repeat. When it finally stopped playing, I literally felt a sense of relief so huge, it was like a crushing weight had been lifted off of me. Unfortunately, the damage had been done, and I was in a really foul mood for the rest of the night, and when the rotation finished out and once again launched into it, I went to the closing guy in music and begged him to please, please, PLEASE, for the love of God, PLEASE change the cd at the end of the current track, and thankfully, he did, because I can not be certain something lastingly horrible would not have happened if I'd had to hear it one more freaking time. Even my coworker at the desk, who is a man of infinite patience and good spirits was like, "oh, hell no" when it came on again.

But Katie, I hear you ask, "how bad can it be?" Well, since you ask, here's one of the tracks from it, the mind-numbingly maudlin "Almost Lover." (The video alone is pretentiously ridiculous and depressing...a TERMITE? SERIOUSLY???) And you might not think it's that bad, but put it on fucking repeat and listen to it for 47 minutes straight, and you more or less have the experience of the album. Then put it on repeat for 2.5 hours, and you approach my experience tonight. Only you really only approach it, because so trust me, until you have listened to that album 3-4 times a day for 2 months, you really can not begin to grasp the suckfest that is One Cell in the MF'g Sea.

I have to go take some Advil, now.

Peace out,
Katie

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