Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Sunday, Nov. 24, 2002 - 6:36 p.m.

Who Is Katie Doyle?

Judging by the number of people googling Katie Doyle, I gather there are either A) a lot of people wondering who the hell I am, or B) a lot of people fascinated with the name Katie Doyle, or C) a lot of people wondering who another Katie Doyle is, who then find their way here in some misbegotten quest for knowledge, only to find themselves empty-handed after sifting through 70,600 google finds labelled or containing the phrase "Katie Doyle."

To that end, here, gentle readers, is all the information you need on me, Katie Doyle, Diaryland Diarist, Sometime Actor, Sometime Writer, Sometime Poet, Landscape Design Student, and Worshipper of Puppies. For the rest of my title, see my profile. If there's something here that needs clarification, or if you don't see something you want to know, drop me a line, sign my guestbook or leave me a post-it note. You may or may not get an answer. Frankly, I haven't told a single soul in my real life this thing is here. I like anonymity and am not about to sacrifice it for nosy Katie Doyle googlers.

Bygones.

101 Things to Know About Katie Doyle...or However Many I Get to Before Angel Comes On or I Get Bored

1. I live in Los Angeles, California. All you people doing Dland finds by city, cut it out. What the hell is that about, anyway? Are you looking for dates? What the hell do you care who's posting in LA?

2. I love dogs. If I must tolerate a cat, it must be a cool, likeable feline. If it is, I will love it just as much as if it were a dog. So, I guess basically, I like cats that think they're dogs. Bygones.

3. I have no pets at this time. Lately, for some completely inexplicable reason, I have been thinking about getting a kitten. Yes, I realize this is in direct contradiction of Fact #2. As I said, it's inexplicable.

4. If I pick out a cat, it will inevitably turn out to be an asshole; if, however, a cat picks me out, it always turns out to be an awesome cat. The best kitties in the entire world were Butterball, Tigger, McGuffin, and Puck, in order of their appearances in my life. All of them found me.

5. The best dog in the entire world is Mr. Puppy (Jake), followed by Atilla, Millie, Samson, Argus, Dutchess, Daisy, and King. Millie was the most protective dog I've ever had. I used to sneak her into the house and sleep with her when she was a puppy. When we moved from the dairy to the city, Mom gave her away to another farmer. It was what was best for her and Samson, but it still sucked.

6. I grew up on a dairy. As in with live cows and everything. And no, it was not fun or cool.

7. My favorite words are copious, Tiberius, peruse, whatever, and elucidate.

8. My favorite phrases are death first, bite me, spater gator, cling to that, you must be joking, and no way in hell. It occurs to me they are all negative.

9. Things I say too much include dude, sweet, freakin', frickin', whatever, and any permutation of fuck.

10. My favorite latin phrases are ad kalendas graecus, which is Roman smartass for never; ad astra per aspera, to the stars by hard ways; and mortis primus, death first.

11. While I am writing this, I took a break for dinner, and I ate something I am allergic to and now have a tummy ache.

12. I am plagued by respiratory allergies all year, which really freaking sucks, because it's hard to breathe, my nose is always clogged up, and I'm pretty sure I snore.

13. My favorite color is blue.

14. My favorite movies are romantic comedies and action flicks. But not dumb action flicks. They have to be really suspenseful or witty. Or both.

15. I read mostly fantasy, but I also like "literary fiction."

16. I think "literary fiction" is a pretentious term.

17. I love lyrical poetry, especially that from the romantic period. My favorite poet is ee cummings, who is not from the romantic period, but my favorite, nonetheless.

18. I can quote vast numbers of lines from 80's movies dialogue.

19. I know almost every single line of dialogue from the first 1/2 - 2/3 of The Princess Bride.

20. My favorite movie musicals are Calamity Jane and Singing In the Rain.

21. I wish life were like a Rodgers & Hammerstein musical, because you could break into song and dance any time you liked, the bad guy would get his, and everyone would live happily ever after.

22. Musicals are my favorite shows to be in.

23. I have never been the leading lady in a musical, though I was Peppermint Patty in Snoopy, and I got to sing a love song to Charlie Brown. That was also my first solo song.

24. As far as I know, I have read every single Trixie Belden book in the series at least 5 times and was crushed when they stopped publishing them somewhere between #17 and #21.

25. My mother gave away all my Trixie Belden books when I was in college.

26. When I was a junior in high school, I decided to get rid of all my childish things and gave away all 3 of the Barbie dolls I'd had since kindergarten and threw away all the valentines I'd gotten in school from kindergarten to 4th grade. They are the only things I've ever regretted getting rid of. Those Barbies were in prime shape, too, because I was a really anal-retentive child when it came to dolls, stuffed animals, books, and records. I still am.

27. My most prized possession in the entire world is Pete the Awesome Battlebear, a small stuffed animal wearing an I-heart-Photon t-shirt. Pete is missing one ear and has the other partially torn off, scars from battles with my dog Atilla when he was still an adolescent. Atilla, not Pete.

28. I take Pete on every single road trip and plane flight. He has never let the car breakdown or the plane crash. ::knock wood::

29. I have a purple and lavender rabbit's foot hanging in my car. I got it after a Christmas dinner theatre show in 1987. It has been in every car I've driven since then, including rental cars, and I have not had an accident involving serious injury as long as I was driving with that keychain. ::knock wood::

30. I do not quote from the Scottish Play or refer to it by its proper title. If I do happen to quote inadvertently, I turn around 3 times while repeating "Fair thoughts and happy hours attend on thee," then spit, and curse.

31. I am pretty fairly superstitious.

32. Almost every single time in my entire life I have ever broken the rules, I have paid for it. Consequently, I rarely break the rules, and when I do, I get incredibly stressed out waiting for the axe to fall.

33. I am the oldest of 3 children. The other 2 are boys.

34. My family is not close.

35. When I met my boyfriend, he changed my life. I do not regret the path which brought me to him, no matter how much it sucked. I do wish he were not so moody.

36. There are 3 things in my life I regret with all my heart and would undo if given half a chance. One of them is not giving my dog enough attention.

37. I hope I never again fail to give an animal every single second of the attention it deserves.

38. One of my best memories is winning district mile 8th grade year. Another is riding around his land with my grandfather New Year's Day, 1997. The rest are with my boyfriend.

39. My grandfather died Sept. 5, 1997. I had been to dinner with him and my grandmother August 31. I am the last person my grandfather talked about on September 1, just before the accident which led to his death. When I called my grandmother a week or so after the funeral, my uncle answered the phone. He sounded so much like Grampa, I was speechless for about 10 seconds. I thought maybe the whole thing had been a horrible dream, until I realized it was my uncle, at which point I was so disappointed, it was all I could do not to cry.

40. I have been pretty pissed off at God ever since.

41. I am never getting married or having kids.

42. I hate, hate, hate video/audio transcription, though doing that job made me pretty good at hearing obscure song lyrics and dialogue.

43. I have never had a non-acting job that I liked.

44. I have one French friend, Marie-Pierre. She lives in Paris.

45. I spent 5 weeks in Japan the summer I was 16.

46. I was an honor grad and member of NHS.

47. I was editor of the school newspaper and a member of German Club and Quill & Scrolls.

48. In college I was a member of Alpha Psi Omega, the national drama fraternity.

49. I was a 4H member from 5th to 12th grade, but junior and senior year, I didn't get to go to any meetings, because we moved to the stupid city and I couldn't find a club.

50. I once spoke in front of 5,000 people, at the State 4H competition.

51. My first car was a 1974 Volkswagon Type IV I got the summer I graduated from high school. It was canary yellow. My friends called it the Millenium Canary, and the running joke was "would it help if I got out and pushed?" Every time it rained, the fuel injection stuck, and you had to push start the damn thing. I miss that car.

52. I have been to 9 different schools, and a different high school for every year I was in high school.

53. I hate being the new kid in school. You miss out on everything, and just when you finally get to be popular and get elected to office in fun school clubs and president of your 4H club, your parents fucking move you again.

54. I have worn glasses since 2nd grade.

55. With the exception of junior and senior years of high school, every school I went to was in the sticks.

56. I fucking hate the sticks.

57. My parents and teachers wanted me to skip 6th grade, but the school superintendent and my counsellor thought it would be detrimental to my psychological development, so I didn't. In retrospect, that might have been a good thing, since I was already known as the smartest kid in school and got more than my fair share of trouble because of it. Then again, since that was already the case, what the hell difference would skipping a grade have made? I've been a little pissed off about that ever since, too.

58. I scored in at least the 98th percentile of every achievement test I've ever taken except the SAT's and one year in math when I scored in the 88th percentile.

59. My SAT score was only 1110, which has been a humiliating embarrassment to me ever since; all my friends scored at least 1200. I hope it's because I had the flu that day and couldn't keep my head down for more than a few seconds; I took the test with a giant box of Kleenex on the desk. I still regret not retaking it.

60. I screwed around and cut class my first semester at college, ended the semester with a 1.92 gpa, and got put on scholastic probation. I pulled at least a 3.7 on every course after except for the C I got in AstroII, again for cutting class, and the F I got in Mr. Proctor's dialects course, because I dropped out of school that semester, but Mr. Proctor didn't get my drop until I had accrued 1 too many absences.

61. Mr. Proctor marked you absent if you were not sitting in your seat when the very last syllable of your name was called. It was my first class of the day. I had a lot of marked absences.

62. When I was in 5th grade music class, at the end of the year, final was to learn a song and sing it. In front of the entire class, my bitch of a teacher said "All except you, Katie, you just learn the song and say it." I did not sing in front of another person again until college.

63. I have worked as a singing waiter and have sung with a jazz band.

64. I still get ridiculously nervous singing in front of other people. In my head I hear Arlene fucking Denning telling me to say the words. Stupid c***.

65. In 7th grade, my school counsellor told me I would never be an actress because my accent was terrible.

66. I have never had a Texas accent.

67. Except, for some bizarre reason, when I have laryngitis. When I begin to get my voice back, I sound like a Texan Demi Moore. All my friends think this is really freakish. I have to say I agree.

68. My mother had my IQ tested when I was a small child, but she still refuses to tell me what my score was. She says she doesn't want me to feel like a loser for failing to live up to my potential.

69. I really, really hate it when I do something stupid.

70. In case you can't tell, I have been defined by test scores my entire life. If I ever brought home all A+'s and one A, the only thing my parents had to say was "Why isn't this an A+?"

71. I stealth sneeze so people won't notice me.

72. I know I'm high maintenance, so I'm really nice and tip the waiter well.

73. I am afraid of the dark again after having broken myself of it when I was 15.

74. I live in blue jeans and sneakers.

75. I love black boots.

76. I get cold easily.

77. I hate rap music, hip hop, brussels sprouts, cauliflower, lima beans, okra, sushi, raw squid, being too cold, reptiles, slithering insects, insects which bite, large or jumping spiders, large insects, roaches of ANY sort, people who borrow my things and return them damaged, assholes, intolerance, racism, meanness, selfishness, irresponsibility, unaccountability, stupidity, ignorance, inconsideration, thoughtlessness, crooked politicians, people who smoke and then sue tobacco companies (and their fucking heirs), people who insist on being victims, people who claim to be victims for the purpose of litigation, people with microvision, greed, extreme sloth, cigarette smoke, losing, being called Ms., going on commercial auditions, getting grey hair and wrinkles, thieves and those who feed off of others, and people who borrow my things and never return them. I'm sure I hate a lot more, but that's what springs to mind right now.

78. I love puppies, dogs, trees, the ocean, the stars, my boyfriend, my good friends, medium-rare steak, baked potatoes, shrimp, pasta, laughing, snuggling up to my boyfriend to watch a movie or tv, board games, making straight A's, singing, acting, writing, trivia, cussing when I'm pissed off, skiing at spring break, travelling, when people compliment my writing, achievements, winning, hot running water and indoor plumbing, central heat and air, television, the movies, reading, plants, eating, chocolate cake, zero candy bars, twinkies, buttercream frosting, red velvet cake, being treated like a girl, losing weight, and when people think I'm a lot younger than I am. I love a lot more too, but these are what spring to mind right now.

79. I used to be an excellent speller. Now, not so much.

80. Ever since Dan Quayle misspelled potato, I think the plural is potatos, instead of potatoes. Don't get me started on tomatoes. Damn Quayle.

81. I find crocheting, embroidery, and watercolor extremely relaxing. I watercolor craftsman designs and want to make a stained glass window for the living room window.

82. I once got a letter from Charles M. Schultz, creator of Peanuts.

83. When I was a little girl, I just knew I could fly, if I tried hard enough. That'll teach me to put my faith in Disney movies.

84. I had an out-of-body experience in 1998, after years of trying. It felt like passing thru a sponge and lasted as long as it took me to think "wow, that felt really weird, hey, I did it," freak out, and fall back in.

85. I am sometimes psychic, but never when I try to be, and not that often. Except, you know, for the voices. ;)

86. I like to play jokes on people.

87. I have a very dry, often sarcastic, sense of humour. People often find it hard to tell when I'm kidding.

88. I am somewhat self-deprecating.

89. I lose my temper far too easily and sometimes have a little trouble with anger-management.

90. It sometimes takes me over an hour to figure out I'm really pissed off about something.

91. When I get even, I do it quietly and viciously. Probably luckily, it takes quite a bit to move me to vengeance.

92. I hate to be mean or hurt people's feelings.

93. I almost never say hateful things when I'm angry, because you always regret it later, and you always say the most hurtful thing you can think of, and that damage can not always be undone.

94. I think hackers are one of the lowest fucking forms of life, and I have nothing but disgust for a person who has to destroy what others have done so that he can feel good about himself. Hacking doesn't show how smart you are, dumbass, it shows what a tiny, pathetic piece of shit you are, and that you haven't the talent to create, you can only throw the the petty, immature, and ineffectual tantrums of a child.

95. Spammers aren't much better.

96. I am very protective of my privacy, but in a weirdly paradoxical manner, I am also very open about my life. *I* just want to choose who gets the information, and how.

97. I know how to play the alto clarinet and the accordion, but I haven't played either one since high school, so I guess technically, I don't really know how to play either one, anymore. But I used to.

98. I also used to be fluent in German. After 5 years of it, I suppose I should have been. When people speak it to me now, I can follow the general gist of what they're saying, but I can't really speak it back to any serious degree.

99. Every once in a while, I noodle around with the piano and have taught myself to play Gershwins' "The Man I Love." (the easy version)

100. I have been told I have perfect pitch. This has never been conclusively tested.

101. If I could have one magic power, I would choose flight. Maybe invisibility, but I think flight.

That's it for now. Stay tuned for further facts.

Someday.

Maybe.

Peace out,
Katie

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"Yes, you're very smart. Shut up."

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Yesterday's News - Next Stop

In which Katie shares sad news - Wednesday, Apr. 01, 2015
In which Katie returns after a very long absence - Monday, Jun. 25, 2012
In which Katie pokes her head in and brushes some of the cobwebs away - Thursday, May. 06, 2010
In which Katie asks you to write your congressman again. - Monday, Jun. 02, 2008
In which Katie asks you to please click the link and send the message to protect the rights of artists - Wednesday, May. 21, 2008