I've been thinking a lot lately about growing up Doyle. My parents taught me a lot of shit over the years, most of it unusable. They also left quite a bit out that would have been really nice to know. Like, how to say no without freaking out; that if you are always thoughtful, nice and considerate, other people will walk all over you; that every once in a while you should take the biggest, or the last piece of cake, and not because you want it, but just because someone else does.

Understand, I do not want to be the kind of person that takes that piece of cake, but the world seems to have turned into the kind of world where if you don't fuck with people and take that cake every now and again, they just figure they are always entitled to it and you aren't, and you never, ever get it...unless there's some happy accident resulting in the cake being delivered to you instead of them, or somehow the Fates fucked up and the person handing out the cake is someone who also passes on the cake for others and knows that it's your freaking turn. I used to believe - and I'm sure still do, somewhere deep down in the recesses of my idealistic little soul, since I still can't bring myself to take the damn cake - that if you worked really hard, others would acknowledge that effort and sometimes give you the biggest piece of cake, because you'd earned it. I now know that that almost never happens, but I still think it really sucks that that's so.

I am also learning that if you continually give the cake to others, because it means more to them than it does to you, after a few times, they figure they are entitled to it; it belongs to them, and you will never get it. Ever. Until you finally stand up and say no, today *I* am eating the last piece, at which point they will tell everyone what an unreasonable, selfish bitch you were for stealing from them and taking what was clearly an unfair amount of cake.

Now, for those of you doing the bitching about cake theft, let me clue a few of you in to a thing you seem not to have figured out: just because a person is nice to your asinine little self doesn't mean they're weak. It might mean they need to seriously re-examine their politeness barometer, but it does not mean they are weak. Because I am a considerate, thoughtful, polite human being does not give you the right to walk all over me with your pointy little fuck you shoes. And you'd better watch yourself, because my tolerance only extends so far, and when I get even - and I do get even - I do it in a really nasty, inescapable, completely unexpected way. I am very good at finding opportunity and exploiting it to the fullest. I am even good at creating opportunity and exploiting it to the fullest. I got that way from growing up in the Doyle household and putting up with assholes like you most of my life. So you might wanna give some thought to that the next time you treat somebody like shit and tell yourself you're untouchable. You're not, pally. Trust me.

Peace out,
Katie