the most current entry past either present or future...it depends on when you are archives pick an entry, any entry who's who in doyle town katie's profile 101 things how katie sees it notes, silly, notes! dear katie... our illustrious sponsor


Tuesday, May. 29, 2007 - 5:14 a.m.

I've just been so hideously depressed, lately. Feel like I am never going to get ahead. My life has taken so many turns I never saw coming, gone directions I never thought it would go, and failed on so many levels. Sometimes the full import of all that I've done wrong piles on top of me until I feel like I can't breathe. All the crappy decisions, all the horrible choices, all the times I settled for less than I needed (forget wanted), because I thought it was all temporary, and this thing that wasn't what I wanted would tide me over or lead to what I did want, only none of them ever did, and looking back, I realize I never once went for what I wanted, but for what I thought I could live with. And you can't build a future - or a life - on what you can live with. You only end up starving your soul. And now it's too late for what I wanted, and I have to figure out something else, only there's nothing else I want. Everything left is what I can live with. And frankly, that makes for crappy choices. But I can't complain, because I did it to myself. So I'm turning in circles, trying to figure out what the hell to do with myself, short-changing myself and everyone else in my life, because I'm not who or what I want to be, so I'm not the best I can be, and I don't even have enough for myself, let alone the people in my life. And I can't breathe. I can't even get air into my lungs, because this fucking black hole in the center of my chest is sucking everything into it, including the oxygen I'm trying to take in, and it hurts. It actually frigging hurts. How the hell do I make it stop hurting?

copyright 2002 - 2005 Katie Doyle; all rights reserved
Don't even think it, punk.






*HUGS* TOTAL! give katiedoyle more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own

Yesterday's News - Next Stop

In which Katie shares sad news - Wednesday, Apr. 01, 2015
In which Katie returns after a very long absence - Monday, Jun. 25, 2012
In which Katie pokes her head in and brushes some of the cobwebs away - Thursday, May. 06, 2010
In which Katie asks you to write your congressman again. - Monday, Jun. 02, 2008
In which Katie asks you to please click the link and send the message to protect the rights of artists - Wednesday, May. 21, 2008

 

 

You're lookin at it. Archives Dear Katie... Our illustrious sponsor

Join the Katie Doyle Fan Club!
Get email when Katie updates this site.
(Secret Decoder Ring not included.)

your email:


(list name: newkatie)
Powered by
NotifyList.com


I feel/am...

The ONE campaign

[ Registered ]

Katie's Pals

L'ours Pete
Em's Blog
Jonny-C
CuppaJoe
New Kid on the Blog
That33Girlie
Metame
Reader 1209
Connie's Blog
OnlyMayDay
Owen's Blog

Other Stuff Katie Digs

All & Sundry
Pamie dot com


Official Favorite Diary of Katiedoyle.diaryland.com

Cavort, cavort, my kingdom for a cavort
Proud Supporter of
International Cavorting Day
Since 2002

Dragonfly Design - Natural & Crystal Jewelry and Adornments
jewelry


check out other d'land reads. get your own license to drive...er, write. recommend me to your friends! katie's profile notes, silly, notes!

-

1