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Thursday, Jan. 12, 2006 - 7:55 p.m.

A few short notes, because I have a stomach virus and am going to bed before I totally hurl.

Em gave me Paris Hilton's hommage to vapid fame, Your Heiress Diary for Christmas. I have to say, I think it's hysterical, but I'm not sure how much of the joke Paris is actually in on, since the thing is apparently quite seriously geared to pre and early teen girls. I shudder to think what kind of impact that sort of thing - and Paris herself - has on a 13 year old, but I think I'm really glad I will not ever be a mother and have to find out. The book consists of an introduction and then copious photos of and quotes by Paris, with headers like "Inspirations I Had Today" and "My Shopping Hot List," neither of which are right next to each other, but probably should be. There are places to list every facile idea a young girl who thinks of nothing but shopping, shoes, jewelry, boys, clothes and hair could ever have. You can list your favorites of all of those, plus all the things you don't like, as well as your favorite work out ensemble, your favorite fashion and celebrity magazines, where you like to vacation and what you pack when you do, your favorite celebrities, nail polish colors (for both fingers and toes) (separately), your favorite animals, your favorite clothes for a pet (no, I'm not kidding), and every last detail you can think about for your future wedding.

To be fair, there are some positive things about it. Girls can write down what makes them feel good about themselves, good advice they've gotten from their parents, what they like about their families and what things they don't want to perpetuate on their own children, but those are rather few and are pretty much overshadowed by such checklists as "I will not be able to get by without: a jet, a helicopter, a yacht, a seaplane, all of the above". But it's vastly amusing to someone like me, so I am mightily amused, and thank you, Em, for the huge laugh.

I am studying French on my own, which results in a lot of hairpulling and throwing of hands up in the air, followed by loud exclamations of "That's just crazy," "WHY?!" and "The hell?!" The verbs are simply ridiculous and really need to be pared down. There are like 6 minimum verb tenses, and they each have 6 forms. It's patently ridiculous, and resulted in my sending my self-appointed French teacher (and friend) Sophie the following email:

Chere Sofy -

Les verbes de francais sont fous. Il y a trop. Pourquoi avoir besoin de trop??? 6 formes de present. 6 formes de imparfait. 6 formes de passe compose. Pourquoi?! Ce n'est pas necessaire! C'est demente! Et les temps! Quand employer l'imparfait, le futur simple, le passe simple, le passe compose, et le present du conditionnel??? An anglais, s'il vous plait!!! Je ne comprends pas quand j'emploie! Pourquoi tellement difficile??? Les Francais sont unes gens difficiles!

Which basically boils down to: Dear Sofy, French verbs are crazy. There are too many. Why do you need so many? Six forms in the present tense, 6 in the past imperfect, 6 in whatever the hell passe compose is. Why?! It is not necessary! It is insane! And the tenses! When do you use each tense? Please tell me in english! I don't understand when to use them. Why so difficult? The french are a difficult people!

Luckily, she knows I love all my french friends and the culture, it's just their language I think was conceived by total whack jobs. I actually know when to use future simple, but the rest? There are like 4 different past tenses. It's just silly.

Peace out,
Katie

ps. She wrote me back to explain it...in French. ::sigh::

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Yesterday's News - Next Stop

In which Katie shares sad news - Wednesday, Apr. 01, 2015
In which Katie returns after a very long absence - Monday, Jun. 25, 2012
In which Katie pokes her head in and brushes some of the cobwebs away - Thursday, May. 06, 2010
In which Katie asks you to write your congressman again. - Monday, Jun. 02, 2008
In which Katie asks you to please click the link and send the message to protect the rights of artists - Wednesday, May. 21, 2008

 

 

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