Katie Doyle, Girl About Town

Thursday, Feb. 27, 2003 - 6:04 a.m.

It's late and I am tired - St. Katie has been very busy procrastinating my ass into oblivion - but I had to share this absolutely fabulous discovery with you people, because it has Rocked. My. World. Hostess Chocolate Cupcakes are gone. Twinkies are old hat. The taste sensation jam-packed with Mom and Pre-Nixon America Goodness is (commence monster truck rally voice):

HOSTESS. APPLE SPICE. CUPCAKES.

(SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!)

Complete with cream-filling and a hint of vaguely bubble gum-my essence.

They are a marvel, my friends. Brand spankin' new from Hostess, the indisputable junk food king.

Lola Puts in a Brief (Non-Political) Appearance:
One other thing before bed, and the language is gonna get harsh, so be prepared.

Today I am driving down the 101, aka the Ventura Freeway, the Penultimate Bastion of Congestion and Road Rage here in LA (the Last Bastion being the 405), and traffic was pretty heavy. I needed to move into the right lane, because that was the exit lane, and it was exit only, and my exit was fast approaching. But, like, I couldn't get in. So I put my blinker on (what WAS I thinking?) and start looking for a way over. Just a little space to ease the tiny little tin can people make me refer to as a car into. There's a van just a little ahead and another a little behind. As soon as I put my blinker on, the van behind cuts off the extra space, but I think he probably just doesn't realize I need over, so I patiently wait for the space to widen. It finally does, and though it's tighter than I want, I start to pull over.

When Rambo, the fucking dick in the van to the rear, like totally pours on the speed and guns his damn van so that not only am I now straddling the line between the two lanes and can't finish the lane change, but he is actually continuing to pull alongside me AND fucking swerving into me, the fucker. And the guy that had been behind me has moved up and is already halfway occupying the space I have just left. At 70mph. So there was very nearly death and destruction, and as that's happening, and I am trying to compensate for fuckwad's asinine bullshit, I realize that it's the same motherfucking cocksucker who hit and ran my ass back in April of last year and knowingly and purposely left me dazed and in pain in the middle of Ventura Blvd. in fucking rush hour. He was even driving the same fucking van. And then to cap off the insult, the car in front of me, who had seen what was happening and moved over, thus saving me and the other car in my lane from destruction and what would have definitely been a trip to the emergency room, and I was able to move ahead of the first van (the well-behaved one that had been ahead) and make my lane change, and fucking Rambo immediately changes lanes into the one I had been in, then into the one to the left of that, and continues on his merry way...he hadn't even needed to exit. He just didn't want to share the fucking exit-only lane.

I know it isn't nice, but I really, really, really hope that fucker meets a really painful and "untimely" (which depends entirely on your definition of untimely) fucking end really soon. Preferably by someone who blindsides his ass in a hit and run. On the highway.

Yep, that's the Katie way.

Peace out,

Katie

ps. macs suck. if you happen to be down in that there little html box and you happen to accidentally hit the return/enter button? a mac bumps yer ass back a page and causes you to lose your entire diaryland entry. apple, thy name is gerbil.

0 comments so far

I wouldn't be afraid of death if I was you. I'd be more afraid of driving in rush hour traffic.

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Yesterday's News - Next Stop

In which Katie shares sad news - Wednesday, Apr. 01, 2015
In which Katie returns after a very long absence - Monday, Jun. 25, 2012
In which Katie pokes her head in and brushes some of the cobwebs away - Thursday, May. 06, 2010
In which Katie asks you to write your congressman again. - Monday, Jun. 02, 2008
In which Katie asks you to please click the link and send the message to protect the rights of artists - Wednesday, May. 21, 2008