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So, my car finally gave up on me and is in the shop as we speak. My mechanic gave me a rosier estimate than before and won't be marking up the parts, so it looks like I might actually get my car back for $250-300, which is awesome, because I just realized that inbetween paychecks, I fell behind on my auto insurance and cell phone and have $279 due right now in bills, which will pretty much eat up both the paychecks I have yet to deposit. ::sigh:: I really miss tv money. It wasn't making me rich, but it sure provided a lot more income than a bookstore does. It's funny how working for a certain amount of money every week, you really settle in to that and think it isn't enough, and in LA, it frequently isn't, but then you take a job for a lot less, and you realize what you had really wasn't as bad as you thought it was. If that makes any sense. Although I wish to stress that the last tv job I had was just silly money, and believe me, I knew how lucky I was to get it. Life at the bookstore moves along. I still really dislike 2 people there, and judging from my last shift, that isn't going to change, as they have decided to really dislike me, as well. It's not surprising. I've challenged enough really insecure people to get that doing so freaks them out and makes them really not like you. But since they're the kind of people who sit in a break room and talk trash about their coworkers, I don't really care. I do care that I accidentally used a bigoted idiom on break during my last shift - something I never, ever say, so I don't know how the hell it came out of my mouth - and one of the people in the room made a huge deal out of it and wouldn't really accept my apology, so I'm sure by the next time I work on Monday, half the people there will think I'm an anti-Semitic bigot. :( It was one of those expressions I've heard all my life but had no frame of reference for, so it meant absolutely nothing to me and I didn't know it was an insult against Jewish people, but when I got older, I found out it was anti-Semitic, so I stopped using it. Like, over 25 years ago. I literally have not used that expression in over 25 years. Until frigging Thursday. In a town full of people sure to take offense. ::sigh:: It's such fun to be me, sometimes. I really wanted to cry. I froze the second after it popped out, and silence just descended on the room, and I covered my mouth and immediately apologized, but I don't think anyone was even listening, they were so busy buzzing about what I'd just said. So I apologized again and then made the classic blunder of trying to explain that I'm really not an anti-Semite, and then tried to just finish the thing I'd been in the middle of, but that damage was done. So at the end of the break when we were both leaving, I apologized again to the guy who'd made the hugest deal out of it, and he said what did he care, he wasn't Jewish, and I said still, that was horrible and I was sorry, and he said whatever, and wouldn't even make eye contact, so you know I'm fucked. I felt horrible. I mean seriously, I don't give a damn what race, religion, creed, etc. you are. It makes no difference to me whatsoever what you do or how you live your life (so long as you aren't hurting me or anyone else). But now I've said this ugly thing, and I will forever be an anti-Semitic bitch there, to that one guy if no one else, and I see him every single day. It really just sucks. :( I got nothin' else, really. I'm trying to get pictures processed for Pete's book, which is hard to do with no printer ink. I have to put them on disk and find a lab, and I really have no idea how they're going to look until I do that, so I feel a little overwhelmed with it. I hope everyone has a safe, happy Memorial Day. Drink a drink for (this other) Pete while you're at it. Peace out, copyright 2002
- 2005 Katie Doyle; all rights reserved
In which Katie shares sad news - Wednesday, Apr. 01, 2015
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